HANDFASTING

Q. So, go on then, do Witches/Wiccans/Pagans actually get Married?

    Yes, of course we do! When we meet that 'special person' and wish to show a commitment we get married just as those of other faiths do! In Wicca/Witchcraft/ Paganism the usual type of marriage is called a Handfasting, the fastening together of the Bride (a name given in honour of Brighid, aka Bride the Celtic Goddess), and Groom in a partnership, usually for a 'Year and A Day'. After the Year and a Day are over, then the Bride and Groom can choose to renew their Handfasting vows for a further Year and a Day, or to take longer vows, traditionally being 'for this lifetime', or 'for this and every other future lifetime'. For ourselves, we chose first to Handfast for a Year and a Day, then the following Year for this lifetime, then finally for this and every future lifetime!

 Q. So where does the term 'Handfasting' come from?

    The term 'Handfasting' comes from the ceremony where the Bride and Groom's hands are 'tied' together with a cord (ever wondered where the term, 'tie the knot' comes from, now you know!), symbolically showing they are joined! The ceremony is not legally recognized in the UK at present, though there are moves afoot to make it a legally recognized condition, in line with those of other faiths. One good thing that comes from it not being legally recognized at present though, is that those of same sex relationships can still get Handfasted, something that as a marriage is denied to them legally at present under UK Law. Historically a Handfasting was undertaken early in the Spring, to make a commitment to each other that the young couple would be together for the coming Year, to plant, tend, harvest (and enjoy its bounty) and look after each other for the whole year, through all it's four seasons. Normally at the end of the contract the two partners have the option to part with no malice, or to Fasten together again for another year or longer if they wanted. In today's modern society with its high failure rate of marriages and the subsequent messy divorces, a Handfasting, with its shorter term commitment, could be one way of reducing the problems that families seem to have when things unfortunately go wrong, and a Handparting, in which the original binding cord is cut would be a way to give closure to a bad situation without malice or ill will!

   Q. But you don't have a Church, so where do Witches/Wiccans/Pagans get Married?

    Ideally most Wiccans would choose somewhere open and in the countryside, with many choosing Ancient Celtic Stone Circles by preference, but with the vagaries of the weather in the Uk, this isn't always possible. We have heard of people getting 'Fasted in many places, even including an indoor Football Pitch! The actual place isn't really that important, what matters is that two people in love want to make a commitment to each other, in sight of their friends, family and in the presence of the Goddess and the God.

    Q. Is there a 'special time' to get Handfasted for Wiccans then?

    Traditionally 'Fasting's' are undertaken in the Spring, but in reality nowadays they are performed whenever the happy couple feel that they are ready, though usually never before they have been together for at least a Year and A Day! We have chosen Beltane ourselves to get joined, as this is exactly a Year and a Day since we first met, and is also the time that symbolically the Goddess and the God are joined, which means tis supposed to bring Luck and Good Fortune upon the partnership, though we have heard others say that really Beltane should be left for the Celebrations of the Goddess and Gods Union. In our own minds though, what better way to honour them is there than taking our solemn vows on the day that they are also joined? Whatever you're personal views, what matters more is that the day is Special for you, and that if it feels right to you, then as Ecclectics feel free to go ahead! (Remember, 'An it Harme None, Do as Ye Will!')

    Q. How do Witches/Wiccans/Pagans get Married?

    Usually the Pagan couple will choose a date that means something to them (in our case, Beltane, as this is a year and a day since we actually met), and arrange for their family and friends to be present. They may choose from many different ceremonies, electing to be joined by a Coven High Priestess (HPS), a fellow Solitary Eclectic that has the necessary experience, or they may even just choose to 'tie the knot' by themselves! The ceremony is usually performed within a Sacred Circle, cast either by themselves, the Coven or the HPS, and involves many different facets, depending upon what exactly they want! Rings can be exchanged (and usually are), bonfires and Besom's (Ceremonial Broomsticks) jumped, poetry and readings given, dance and music performed and vows taken, whatever the happy couple feels is right for them!

    There are many different ceremonies to choose from, including our own Traditionally inspired one below and many others available at the following websites, hope you find something that you feel comfortable with, if not, then why not make your own Handfasting Ritual, if you do, then we'd love to hear about it!

The Witches Wedding Lots of ceremonies and related ideas.

Magikal Melting Pot A lovely ritual, plus a Handparting Ritual, should you need it!

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/spiritwolf/handfasting.htm