It would seem our forefathers were not as straight laced as we assumed, reading these jokes.

Jim

 

1. An innocent country farmer once dined at Doctor Maul's when he was Bishop of Dromore, and a lady in company asked Mr. Ward, which was the farmer's name, "will you hob and nob?" The honest farmer not understanding such a challenge said "O madam you are very good", and so forth, but upon the lady's pressing him to it, he at last replied, "Indeed madam, you are a fine lady, and if I was to do it with any woman but my wife, I would roger you directly on sight." The poor man no doubt imagined that "hob and nob" was the same as "hobber my nob" in an old English ballad.

2. Mr. H--rr--n, one of the Commissioners of the Revenue in Ireland, being one night in the pit at the Play-House in Dublin, Monica Gall, the Orange Girl, famous for her wit and assurance, striding over his back, he popp’d his hand under her petticoats, "Nay, Mr. Commissioner," said she; "you’ll find no goods there but what have been fairly entered."

3. A gentleman told Betty Careless, upon shewing her legs, that they were very handsome, and so much alike that they must needs be twins; "But indeed," said she, "you are mistaken, for I have had more than one or two between them."

4. A lady seeing the Sheriff of a county, who was a very handsome young gentleman, attending the judge who was an old man; a gentleman, standing by, ask’d her which she liked best, the judge or the Sheriff? The lady told him, "The Sheriff." "Why so?," said the gentleman. "Because," answered she, "tho�?I love Judgment well, I like Execution better."

5. A modest gentlewoman being compelled by her mother to accuse her husband of insufficiency, and being in the court, she humbly desired of the judge that she might write her mind, and not be obliged to speak it, for modesty’s sake: The judge gave her the liberty, and a clerk was immediately ordered to give her pen, ink, and paper; whereupon she took the pen without dipping it into the ink, and made as if she would write. Says the clerk to her, "Madam, there is no ink in your pen." "Truly, Sir," says she, "that’s just my case, and therefore I need not explain myself any farther."

 

6. A gentleman being at a gossiping, he kissed all the ladies but one, at which the company took notice of it, and almost put her out of countenance. The gentleman said he would have kissed her but her nose was so long. “You may,�?says she, “Kiss my arse, where there is no nose to offend you.�?