Anything but anything is better than the T-dog consolation prize. Also known as the "post divorce
change of course"
When you wake up in the morning with your belly full of joy
And your woman isn't handy, for she's off with her new toy
You must place it in the rectum of the nearest plumpest boy
And revel in the joys of fornic*tion.
Tiger, referring to your iambic pentameters, the verse form above is known as the Catholic Couplet. No divorce, you see.