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| | From:  jones0921 (Original Message) | Sent: 9/30/2008 12:10 PM |
I know it isn't Kevin's fault that he's laid off again but GOD i resent him so much right now for it.He gets to take his time getting the kids ready in the morning and him and Dennis get to nap together everyday,while i'm working. He gets to clean the house and do everything i should be doing..not me working and him home.Than when he wants to stay up later at night to have sex he gets mad when i tell him i'm exhusted and don't want to,because one of us has to get up and go to work inthe morning.Yes i'm mean about it and don't mean too but is this all normal??? |
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I would think it is (normal) to some extent. Because you are envious. That's where you want to be, home with the kids.
When I first left my job to stay home (of course it was on purpose, not a layoff) Mike was very jealous that I got to stay with Amber, nap with her, etc. Of course he's too mature to be mean to me, but he did talk to me and admit jealousy.
On the other hand, I (who is NOT so mature!) ended up being jealous and envious of him within a few months time because he got to go out and learn new things, loved his job (I used to love mine, too) and I was stuck at home doing the same dishes, washing the same floor, etc. every day.
Although I loved my daughter and our time together, aside from that I was bored. Same house day in and day out was not very stimulating to my brain (after the initial "vacation" buzz wore off).
He'd come home and tell me about an Office Depot party, or a new system they were rolling out that everyone was getting trained on and I realized that the more I stayed home, the more "behind the times" I got and I resented all the fun adult stuff I was missing (Office Depot used to be a really fun place to work!).
Of course being with my daughter couldn't really compete - she was my hands down choice, but I noticed myself being nasty to Mike - just like in your situation this was not HIS choice, but I resented the shit out of him sometimes and it wasn't even his fault.
I think it is a normal reaction, though, just by nature. Consider this:
By choice or not, most women couldn't help being envious and jealous in a situation where there is another woman who is just drop-dead gorgeous, perfect body, perfect features. Just naturally a bomb shell (the bitch!). Add insult to injury she doesn't even have to exercise, she's just built that way and can eat Combos for breakfast (yes, I know someone who fits this description) and still looks like she spends an hour a day at the gym!
Was it her choice to be that perfect without trying?
No.
But most women would resent her, anyway.
So, through no fault of his own, Kevin is a "hot blond"!
;-)
In a perfect world you should be able to sit down and talk this out with your husband and tell him about your feelings and work through them together. And in a perfect world he'd be supportive and understanding, and not defensive. Talking like two rational adults. No reason to get mad, just talking about feelings. You have no choice that you feel this way in the same way he has no choice he was laid off, so you can't fault him and he can't fault you. It is what it is. But discussing like mature adults should lead to a mutual understanding and respect for your feelings.
Again, in a perfect world! |
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