No  R – E – S – P – E – C - T for the Elderly in America!

I am disenchanted.  I am perplexed.  Am I beside myself? Not really.  In my mind, they know not what they do!  We may pride ourselves in the fact or opinion that many countries around the world still refer to us as the greatest super power. We may boast of tremendous technological advancement and medical breakthroughs.  Heck, we could even indulge in the illusion that this great land of the free and home of the brave, truly fosters freedom and equality for all. I have no problem with all of the above.  But when it comes to how the younger generation treats the elderly citizens of this so-called God’s country, I must bow my head down in shame!  Ashamed of being one of them!! Another proud naturalized American!!!

When Marvis Coyle, an 82 –year-old woman began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley area of California, she could not make it to the other side before the traffic light turned red. The consequence? A hefty $114 ticket! Violation? Obstruction of traffic! Hmmmmm… what’s wrong with this picture? Could he, {the police officer who slapped her with the fine} have offered some assistance out of compassion, since out of respect was obviously out of the question? Yep. Was it possible to have avoided any obstruction issue in the first place? You betcha!  But he didn’t care.  It wasn’t his job to be sympathetic.  Why should he, be bothered with some frail old lady, who had nothing better to do than to break road rules and complicate his professional routine?  Why are most elderly people in America today not treated with the reverence to which they were used to, in times gone by?

A couple of years ago, according to a female acquaintance of mine, an elderly man was driving down one of the busiest streets in Oxford, MS, and suffered a heart attack. Consequently, he lost control of his car-which crashed into the “plate glass” front of a building. He knocked himself out! Fortunately, he survived and no one else was hurt in the process. However, the city cited him with, “Failure to maintain control of a moving vehicle!”  “Please tell me how you are supposed to maintain control when you are passed out” she asked.

What really puzzles me is this... how can a nation that would go to any length to feed the poor in other continents or spend millions, if not billions of taxpayers’ money to rescue the oppressed, not give much of a rat’s *ss when it comes to how her elderly citizens are coped with back home? In a culture that glamorizes the young and emphasizes the value of youth, the image of the elderly tends to take the back burner. They are often promoted as feeble and incompetent. Most are frequently shunned or regarded as outcasts; a group of people who are incapable of contributing to the work force of society. “In America, old people are looked upon either as excess baggage or as lepers: Do not touch them or you will contract whatever is inside them that is making them age, and thus you could prematurely catch the dreaded "aging disease,” writes Tom Plate, a-Pacific Perspective columnist-in his online article, “The age on insecurity: The elderly in Asia versus America.” It is commonplace to hear a youngster refer to a senior citizen as “old geezer,” “old fart,” or “crusty.”  Is it any wonder that a great number live in nursing homes or retirement communities where they are handled as profit producing products?

Tom firmly believes that “our older generations and their memories and their ties to family deserve to be preserved for as long (and as well) as possible.” He also leaves his readers with these words of wisdom. “Whenever you get a chance, reach out and touch someone -- preferably someone much older. You may be in that spot yourself, someday.”

Last summer, as I was about to walk through the front door of a post office in Coconut Creek- FL, I noticed an elderly lady wobbling right behind me. Perhaps by a few steps or maybe one fourth the distance of a Frisbee throw. I could have quickly slammed the door and kept on walking.  After all, I was now an American and the norm is to always look out first for number one!  However, something inherent tugged at me. I had to do the right thing.  So, I held the door open, waited; then motioned, “after you” with my other hand. By her facial expression, the guess was easy.  She was taken aback by my gesture.   “Thank you very much!” she said. Her face beamed with pleasure. On my way out, she signaled for me to wait.  “You must not be from around here…so, where’s home?” She asked. We chatted. She asked questions. I did most of the talking. I was more than happy to share a bit of my African culture. A way of life that had groomed me and taught me the importance of showing respect for my elders, among other virtues. My “101” crash course about senior citizens in Africa went something like this…

·        Traditionally, our older citizens are not lumped together and labeled “the elderly,” like in some western societies. Such classification invokes negative preconceptions.

·        Our senior citizens are referred to as “elders,” a term that implies respect and preserves a sense of regard for specific individuals of comparatively advanced years.

·         Majority of the elders in many African communities or countries are revered by their relatives, families and have strong opinions in many family and community issues.

·        A great number are deemed great sources of wisdom and inspiration.

·        Some people believe that in Africa, the older you become, the more you are treasured. Old is Gold.

·         It is not uncommon to be rebuked publicly by an older bystander for not showing proper respect to an elderly man  or woman.

·         Above all, in Africa, back talking to anyone who is much older than you is somewhat of a taboo and frowned at.

She asked if nursing homes in Nigeria are similar in setup to the ones in America.  I told her nursing homes were not common. “Most Nigerians, as far as I know tend to live with and care for their aging relatives at home.” I added. As we parted ways, she gave me a hug and whispered, “You have made my day!”

To a great number of westerners, the mere mention of Africa or Africans conjures an image of a bunch of stone-aged villagers running around naked in the jungle. This may very well still hold true in certain geographic areas. I don’t know – it's been awhile since I watched National Explorer. Nonetheless, Africa is a huge continent. It’s true that many countries clustered within its boundaries are yet to experience the true meaning of civilization, democracy and running water. But, if there’s one thing the African culture taught me, it’s the importance of showing respect for my elders.  Big bear on the Disney channel always says, “No matter how different someone is, you can always learn something from them.”  As a nation, Americans ought to take a look at the way Africans treat their elderly. And if Japan, whose level of industrialization matches that of the United States, can successfully integrate their elderly citizens into community life and maintain a rock steady tradition of filial piety, so can we.  As to why the elderly in America are not currently treated with the reverence to which they were previously used to? Your guess is as good as mine.

bd-01/10/07

-t-