I wrote this poem back in 2002 when I first started getting some new hope and when the depressions were still big. Thank god now I am in a so much better place since I have been doing a lot of healing...but despite that, this poem always kept a very special meaning for me. Because for the biggest part of my life the rain was like a friend to me and was the only friend I had. Despite the sadness in it, this poem will always be very important and close to my heart for me. I revised it a bit here and there, but it's basically still the same...
Rain
I roam through another damnation town
as rain pours down from a gloomy sky
Seemingly warm, almost fairy like window lights
remind me of the loneliness i carry
For i do not belong inside as a rainchild
and rain cleans the red lashes of so called parenthood
I scream in despair and anger
as the rain answers silently and cold
with cold winds and lashes in my scarred face
In the distance someone seeks a hideaway
as i leave another city behind in the dark
entering safe and hurtless desolated roads
There is no friend nor enemy
Just cold oblivion as my body becomes drenched
No more thoughts nor worries
Just shakes and soaked belongings
as an acknowledgement of everlasting solitude
of a left child who's home was always the rain
The rain becomes a rainstorm of sadness
Countless drops drenching my body and soul
For the raindrops represent
thousands of tears of sorrow
which i am not able to shed from my eyes
for they have been imprisoned in fear
Shakes dissapear and become faded memories of betrayal
Only cold paralysis left in a scarred soul
Without questions i walk and endure
My mind and soul beeing overtaken
by my only lasting friend the rain
which washes away the shame and hurt of beeing taken
For the rain does not hurt
but just drenches and cleans
Rain just spreads it's cold blanket over me
and pleasantly numbs for a while
the knowledge that i am a roaming outcast
who's only friend is the universally hated rain
© Froststorm Jan. 2002 / Aug. 2005
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