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Creative Writing : Outsider
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 Message 1 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>  (Original Message)Sent: 9/30/2003 2:44 AM
 
Rainy day today
Rooms dimmed with shadows
No need for light to see
Living in a world
Filled with strangers
Friends are so far away
So out of reach
 
In this world
people are all rushing about
To here and there
Forgetting the things
That really matter
Sometimes I wonder
Why should I care
When no one else seems to
 
Lost in emptiness
Feeling numb
Stuck in agony
No energy to move
Wondering the purpose of it all
Breathing only causes more pain
 
Thoughts flow to paper
As feelings come but never go
Haunted by hurts
That others have gotten over
Seeking support
A kind hand to hold
Honest caring words
Receiving silence
The sound of avoidance is loud
and very clear


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Reply
 Message 15 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 5:38 AM
not sure what you mean..if i make it so it seems ppl are avoiding me?..or it is cause of me ppl are actually avoiding me?..who knows..i worry bout both..i didn't bump up that poem cause of that though..whenever it rains i think of this poem or when iam feeling lonely..

Reply
 Message 16 of 29 in Discussion 
From: *2many*Sent: 11/30/2005 6:17 AM
youre searching too hard for an answer thats right in front of you, pam....

Reply
 Message 17 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 6:22 AM
cause iam avoiding others?..
other than that i still don't know what ya mean..
i feel like i should call myself grasshopper all of a sudden..lol..

Reply
 Message 18 of 29 in Discussion 
From: *2many*Sent: 11/30/2005 7:08 AM
no, but its something you have to admit to yourself....

Reply
 Message 19 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 11:18 PM
well jen..lol..iam lost..whats new, right?..think i got all possibilities so i don't know what to tell ya..either ppl are avoiding me..i blow things out of proportion or its my own distance that is the issue..the only thing i can think of is my worries/fears just get the best of me..other than that i dunno?..apparently others know something i don't?..iam not really sure why we are talking bout this anyway but perhaps it is a good thing..anyway take care..hugs..

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 Message 20 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 11:28 PM
if you are implying i make things harder on myself which is the only other thing i can think of, i know that..i don't mean to but its that "over sensitivity"..plus some other things in the mix..iam doing the best i can and dealing with one problem at a time..hugs..

Reply
 Message 21 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 11:47 PM
what, i push ppl away?..i don't mean to..

Reply
 Message 22 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 11/30/2005 11:51 PM
and if #21 is what you are thinking how do i do that?..what have i done to you in particular that it felt like i was pushing you away?..come on..lay it on me..iam listening....

Reply
 Message 23 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/1/2005 1:10 AM
if it is "over sensitive" btw i already know that?..still taking time to settle in but thats where all the confusion bout perceptions come in if ya remember?..this has really got me wondering...wish you would just say it..would make it easier..cause now my mind is running wild..am i annoying?..bad breath?..what?!

Reply
 Message 24 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/1/2005 1:29 AM
Iam not as funny as I think Iam?..hahaha..It's cause of the japanese aliens isn't it?....Okay they really didn't abduct me..I was only joking..
 
hhhmmm..apparently iam avoiding something?..how many more guesses do i have?..lets see i avoid alot of work whenever possible..lol..i avoid the heat..hhmmm...too often i avoid cleaning..i avoid certain grumpy ppl i work with..hhmmm..
 
or is this about you/ppl not understanding me cause iam not clear bout some things so you/they don't know what to say?..you already told me that..what can i say..iam different..i talk in riddles, you say..i explained why..when iam ready to talk bout something i will and i have many times..come on throw me a bone here(though not literally..lol)..

Reply
 Message 25 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/1/2005 1:50 AM
what..i don't let ppl in?..i don't take chances?..i keep ppl at a distance?..its weird to me you keep saying that cause i always thought i talked "too much" about myself?.. always thought I was too much so i stay away sometimes to allow others to rest..lmao..like now i may be distant for a bit cause i feel like iam being annoying..i have always considered myself open and honest..so ya saying i should look into that?..i might not be as as open as i think iam?..okay..im done trying to figure this out tonight least on the boards..i will be back promptly tomorrow evening to try to figure this out again..Nitey Nite..

Reply
 Message 26 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/2/2005 4:25 AM
no answer?..been thinking bout this all day..it's cause you/others think iam weird isnt it?..i have always known it but what can ya do?

Reply
 Message 27 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/2/2005 5:01 AM
btw iam just joking jen..guess iam gonna remain clueless..ah well..

Reply
 Message 28 of 29 in Discussion 
From: 2manySent: 12/2/2005 5:25 AM
to answer your questions, youre still looking too hard.  but like i already said, its something you have to admit to yourself; maybe you have but you just dont want to reveal it to others. 

Reply
 Message 29 of 29 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 12/2/2005 5:36 AM
lmao..trying too hard, huh?..geesshhh..can't win..i have no clue whatcha talkin bout jen..i could list a million things more that i worry or fear but who wants to hear that..i don't even know what we are talking about anymore...........gettin confusing..

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