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| | | From: over (Original Message) | Sent: 5/21/2003 10:46 PM |
Too many of my friends are hurting themselves. It's like a knife twisting in my heart, and it would be better if it was me, because then I could choose it, or stop it. Now I can't do either......just stand helplessly by, and I'm not good at that. I just can't stand this "pain by proxy", but I can't turn away, either. A conundrum..... |
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I so know what you mean. It can be just as hard being a witness to the hurts of others as it is being the one who is hurting. Here's something to ponder that someone once said to me - be thankful that you can connect with the pain of others because it also means you can connect with their joy. hugs, Sunshine |
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Interesting Sunshine..Thanks for posting this.. |
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| | | From: over | Sent: 5/19/2004 3:34 AM |
yes, back to the top........what Sunshine said is right on, empathy works in all manner of ways..... signed.......someone waiting to connect with someone's joy! |
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| Hey Jim..Support groups can be rough..Hearing about everyone's problems all the time can get to you after awhile if you don't step back every so often and take care of yourself..I know many people have good things to say..Life isn't all bad..It's just the way it is..Life has many sides and it all comes with the territory..Good and the bad..It just makes us stronger..Right?..Anywho maybe if you expressed a joy in your life..reached out to someone..they could relate and tell you of their experiences as well?..Just a thought..Take good care.. |
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| | | From: over | Sent: 5/31/2005 5:26 PM |
| i know the wisdom in what Pam said above, much better now than when this thread started........though it's no easier |
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Jim..I know it is hard to feel helpless when someone you care about is hurting or hurting themselves..Trust me I want to run in and save the day..It's the big sis in me..Being familiar with "some things" I know what works and what doesn't..Sometimes the best thing to do is to let others sort things out themselves and hope that they will be the better for it in the end..Never hurts to add the occassional advice and many prayers put in for good measure as we do want to help..When it really comes down to it they have to want to help themselves..I learned that the hard way for myself as Iam sure others can relate..
Acceptance has been a big key for me..Allowing to be what is and not trying to change it cause sometimes you can't especially when it comes to other ppl..Let it all just be..Don't let it bring you down..The sun will shine again but in the meantime make your own light...Reach out as you can but be sure to take care of yourself..
Iam sure ya got some joys you can share when you are ready..I look forward to it...... |
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| | | From: over | Sent: 5/31/2005 7:13 PM |
Yeah Pam, you're 100% right, and I know all that.......but it doesn't help, for various reasons............. I'll try to find the joys, seems like a plate full o' problems at the moment around here. But it'll all come right, if we work together as a family, and that does indeed seem to be happening. Which is good. About our hurting friend, yeah it's a b***h not to be able to help, and even more so thinking there's a chance I contibuted some small % to the mix.......hope that's not the case, and as you say, it'll all come right eventually, but still................. Good post, Pam, I know you have one tough demon to wrestle, but your thinking is clear..........you've done a lot of work. Good on ya! I'm impressed, lol, you're leaving me in the dust, hon...........when's the book coming out?? |
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I know you know, Jim, and Iam sorry there isn't anything else I can say that would make it "better" but I also know that isn't possible..but still...Sometimes this stuff just comes out of me cause I feel like maybe it needs to be said/heard or maybe I just need to say it......
Let time do it's thing and in the process if a "hand" needs to be held offer it..That's is the best one can do sometimes..I know that isn't an easy thing to accept(it took me awhile)..Everyone has their own demons and issues to deal with and hopefully overcome in time..All we can do for each other is be there to help another in their journey however we can..Whether that be to inspire, to guide, to create joy, to support...etc..etc...but the path ultimately is theirs alone to take...
Sometimes we do or say things that which may hurt another unintentionally..Even the best of us this happens to..If this is the case don't beat yourself up, Jim..Forgive yourself..give your appologizes and move along to the next thing..Easier said then done, I know but it's what needs to be done..All you can do is your part..The rest is up to them........
Thanks for the compliments, Jim.......All I can is...I try to do my best and I have been working hard for such a long time.........
Take good care of yourself..Wishing you the best... |
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| | | From: over | Sent: 5/31/2005 8:40 PM |
Thanks hon......we gotta keep on marching, eh? Where to may be a mystery, just keepin' on the road is the victory..... |
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| Your welcome and exactly....:) |
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