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The Peaceful OasisContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.[email protected] 
  
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The Burden Bear : crap
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 Message 1 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>  (Original Message)Sent: 10/6/2003 2:26 AM
my community is dying if not dead..depressing..don't know what i should do..wonder how many ppl at least read messages..and if they do why can't they post..just saying hi is that scarey?..come on..its kind of freaky to have so many members with no posting..why do they want to be members?..some changing gots to happen soon..see ppl who are members at my group posting else where so they are around..i can cross off dropping off the face of the earth of my list of possibilities..
 
was so looking forward to october..now its here..wanted to decorate for the season..but its all too much..don't know where to start..overwhelmed..tired..hate myself..
 
my sis hates me..i f**k everything up..say the wrong thing..do the wrong thing..iam a failure..


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 Message 44 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 4:43 AM
Iam so sorry Sammy..I did my best at the time..Maybe I had no business having a kitty..Maybe you were better off if I had given you up to someone who could give you all the care you needed..Iam so sorry Sammy..I didn't want you to go..I miss you so much..I wish you were here today...
Maybe I don't deserve to be here..Maybe I should be punished..Cutting can make it better..It's hard having to deal with all this pain...
Iam not much of anything..Not even a good friend....
Really hate hurting so much...
Sorry to disappoint...
 

Reply
 Message 45 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 4:45 AM
I really hope sissy and smokee had a good life where ever they went..i let them all down!..iam so damn sorry.....

Reply
 Message 46 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 6:56 PM
Torn up inside
Desperately struggling
To understand
Feeling lost
Disconnected
Alone in a world
Where no one
Seems to understand me
Does how I feel matter anyway
Self doubts torment me
Feeling so shakey
And unsure
What if's plague me
Really scared

Reply
 Message 47 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 7:09 PM
light doesn't shine
on a undeserving soul
there is no purpose
to my existance
nothing is good
when iam around

Reply
 Message 48 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/21/2005 11:30 PM
Cut to see the blood
Slicing to feel release
Deserving of the pain
Scars to punish forever
Taking it all inside
Unleasing it on myself
Bad to show emotion
Feelings build
Hating myself
No one understands
What does it matter

Reply
 Message 49 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/22/2005 4:14 AM
slipping........

Reply
 Message 50 of 58 in Discussion 
From: overSent: 6/22/2005 1:00 PM
 
 
 
Hate to hear about the cutting Pam, but I'm not one to make judgements, having done some pretty extreme things to "get through the night".  You'll get through this.........
 
It occurs to me that you've got some strong ideas about various aspects of life--and rightly so, you're intelligent and have thought about things a lot. That's a good thing, I think, though some say to me, "you think too much, gets you in trouble" (I could see where not thinking got them in trouble)......ya gotta have values, and you do.....
Point is, don't doubt yourself so, wear your hard-won beliefs like a badge, use what you know for sure as stepping stones, and have something solid under your feet.......
 
Ackkk!!  Too many words, and I'm missing it.........Just don't doubt yourself so hon, you're a good person heading for a better place (ya you are, even if you can't see it this moment).....keep tryin'!

Reply
 Message 51 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/22/2005 10:46 PM
exactly jim..stops me from doing other things..that and binging..always been my way...comes so easy..its what i deserve..

thanks jim for caring nuff to reply but tis hard..

can't trust my thoughts/feelings..can't make sense out of things..my feelings are wrong  and just don't matter anyway..cutting makes it better..not what i suppose to say but tis how i feel..
 
not doing good..feeling real bad..having a hard time dealing with some stuff..
 
thanks for the encouragement..please take care..

Reply
 Message 52 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/23/2005 8:06 PM
don't wanna go to work tonight but i have ta..pretty zoned out so whatever..have my razor if i need it..tis only 6 hours tops..off tomorrow..can be a mess with no audience then..

Reply
 Message 53 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/24/2005 6:33 AM
doesn't matter!

Reply
 Message 54 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/28/2005 4:47 PM
This whole Tom Cruise thing is pissing me off..Some people just seem to need someone to pick apart and attack..MJ is out of the target range since he was found not guilty so now ppl need something new to take their anger out on..Just what it feels like to me..Some ppl are so eager to condemn someone else on very lil information which is frustrating..I don't know Tom Cruise so I could not even begin to tell anyone what kind of person he is(only what Iam able to observe though it's just my opinion)..Iam a fan of Tom Cruise..I think he is a good actor and will continue to see his movies..It's silly(perhaps even immature) not to simply because one doesn't agree with his beliefs or his choices..All I truely know is he is a human being who has feeling as well as the right to his own opinions and beliefs..I didn't hear this interview he was in only a few quotes I read online..The only I can say is I feel that he is crossing a line by telling others what they should or shouldn't do..He should only speak for himself..We all make mistakes and I feel that is all is he doing..Iam not going to take anything he said personally as I feel so many are..His beliefs are his own and he is passionate about it which I respect..This will blow over like everything else but in the mean time the media, as always, will have a field day just making everything much worse than it is fueling the anger some ppl seem to have within them!..

Reply
 Message 55 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/28/2005 8:44 PM
Below is what I posted in another group after reading everything I did on the posts about Tom Cruise..Someone even bashed Tom Cruise (in their opinion) that he was gay..Iam not sure how that is relevant to them not agreeing with his opinions and so what if he is?..Also they felt the need to call him short..Plus make comments how he handled a prank by someone which I myself didn't find very funny either..How is that neccessary?..That's just immature,school yard name calling behavior..Grow up Ppl!..Just is funny cause ppl are mad at Tom because he isn't supposedly accepting of their beliefs but yet they bash him for his???..Doesn't make sense..We can't we just accept each other and leave it at that?..


Iam not looking to start anything just need to say how I feel..This isn't directed at anyone in particular..I just need to vent about all that I have read on this subject..Anyone can look up info online to find out facts instead of spreading misinformed information or simply how they personally feel about someone..There are alot of celebrities Iam not all that fond of but I don't feel the need to pick them apart or bash them..Maybe it's just me..I don't know them therefore I can't judge..They are human beings who deserve respect as we all do..I don't believe everything I hear on the news and Iam also careful where I get my facts from..The media likes to blow things out of proportion for a good story..It is just frustrating to see all these posts like this..Seems some just want to take apart someone for some reason?..MJ is out of the picture..Now it is Tom Cruise?..I sincerely doubt Tom Cruise is 4'9..I got two heights when I looked up online one was is at 5'7 and the other is 5'9 which sounds more like the truth then 4'9..Let him live his life and make mistakes..We are all entitled to the same luxury..They are just not in the news for the world to see and judge..Hopefully, if he is wise, he will learn from his mistakes..Don't take his beliefs/thoughts/ideas so personal..They are only his opinion..He can't change the world with his beliefs..We are all individuals who have the ability to make up our own minds..I don't see him cramming anyone's opinions down anyone's throat..BTW if someone squirted water in my face I would be kind of peeved as well..I think Tom handled it well..Hey just my take..


That's all Iam gonna say..



Take care...

Reply
 Message 56 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/28/2005 8:50 PM
Was suppose to be:

Why can't we just accept each other and leave it at that?..

Reply
 Message 57 of 58 in Discussion 
From: overSent: 6/29/2005 2:51 PM
Tom who?????

Reply
 Message 58 of 58 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname§îlhøû놆�?/nobr>Sent: 6/29/2005 11:20 PM
nevermind

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