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Jokes/E-funnies : Dumb Laws
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 Message 1 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameȤhandar«  (Original Message)Sent: 9/6/2005 11:15 AM
 
Ok Gang,
 
Whilst surfing the web looking for genealogy databases online, I stumbled across this precious lil gem. ROTFL
 
Shan.
 
 
Arizona Laws
 
Hunting camels is prohibited.
(Law: Hunting camels is prohibited.
Country: United States
State/Province: Arizona
Explanation: The US Army once experimented with camels in the Arizona desert, and eventually gave up. The remaining camels were set free, and are now protected.)

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

(which means no more kinky stuff in bed, Wolfy ..... or Missus Wolfy could have you arrested ..... LMAO)

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Law: There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Country: United States
State/Province: Arizona
Explanation: The Saguaro cactus, treasured by Arizonians, has been endangered by those who find pleasure in shooting or cutting down cacti. Thus, a law was passed to proect the cactus.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

(I ain't gonna touch that one, folks ..............)

A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".
Law:  A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".
Country: United States
Citation: 13-3703. Abuse of venerated objects; classification

A. A person commits abuse of venerated objects by intentionally:

1. Desecrating any public monument, memorial or property of a public park; or

2. In any manner likely to provoke immediate physical retaliation:

(a) Exhibiting or displaying, placing or causing to be placed any word, figure, mark, picture, design, drawing or advertisement of any nature upon a flag or exposing or causing to be exposed to public view a flag upon which there is printed, painted or otherwise produced or to which there is attached, appended or annexed any word, figure, mark, picture, design, drawing or advertisement; or

(b) Exposing to public view, manufacturing, selling, offering to sell, giving or having in possession for any purpose any article of merchandise or receptacle for holding or carrying merchandise upon or to which there is printed, painted, placed or attached any flag in order to advertise, call attention to, decorate, mark or distinguish the article or substance; or

(c) Casting contempt upon, mutilating, defacing, defiling, burning, trampling or otherwise dishonoring or causing to bring dishonor upon a flag.

B. The provisions of this section shall not apply to:

1. Any act permitted by a statute of the United States; or

2. Any act permitted by United States military regulations; or

3. Any act where the United States government has granted permission for the use of such flag; or

4. A newspaper, periodical, book, pamphlet, circular, certificate, diploma, warrant, commission of appointment to office, ornament, picture, badge or stationery on which shall be printed, painted or placed such flag and which is disconnected from any advertisement for the purpose of sale, barter or trade.

C. For the purposes of this section:

1. "Desecrate" means defacing, damaging, polluting or otherwise doing a physical act in a manner likely to provoke immediate physical retaliation.

2. "Flag" means any emblem, banner or other symbol, of any size, composed of any substance or represented on any substance that evidently purports to be the flag of the United States or of this state.

D. Abuse of venerated objects is a class 2 misdemeanor. )

 

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

Law:  It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
Country: United States
Citation: 13-3453. Manufacture or distribution of imitation controlled substance; prohibited acts; classification

A. It is unlawful for a person to manufacture, distribute or possess with intent to distribute an imitation controlled substance.

B. It is no defense to prosecution under this section that the defendant believed the imitation controlled substance to be a legitimate controlled substance.

C. A person who violates subsection A by the manufacture, distribution or possession of with intent to distribute an imitation controlled substance as a controlled substance is guilty of a class 6 felony.

D. Any person of the age of eighteen years or older who violates subsection A with respect to any person under the age of eighteen years is guilty of a class 5 felony.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

(Now don't you think that would put the wind up Freddy Kruger? lmao)

(cont'd onto page 2 .........)



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Reply
 Message 2 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname»§handar«Sent: 9/6/2005 11:34 AM
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
Law: It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
Country: United States
State/Province: Arizona
Explanation: In the summer-time, with temperatures reaching topping 120 degrees,
often people will need water, but may not have the
money to pay for it (mainly applies to homeless).
Hence, the law. It is very much in effect today, with
businesses being reported (and heavily fined) who
refuse to supply water to those who ask for it.
Convenience stores are the primary businesses who uphold
this law.
 
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
(Hey!! that's just not cricket!!!!)
 
 
City Laws
Glendale Laws - Cars may not be driven in reverse.
Globe Laws - Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. (that blows the Happily Family Championship!!)
Hayden Laws - If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
Maricopa County Laws - No more than six girls may live in any house. (Repealed)
Law: No more than six girls may live in any house. (Repealed)
Country: United States
State/Province: Arizona
City: Maricopa County
Explanation: The zoning ordinance was intended to crack down on the proliferation of brothels. However, lawmakers did not forsee cultural changes such as groups of girls living together in a sorority house.
Mesa Laws - It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
Mohave County Laws - A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
Nogales Laws - An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
Prescott Laws - No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
Tombstone Laws - It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
Tucson Laws - Women may not wear pants.

 
Alabama Laws
 
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
Law:  Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
Country: United States
Citation: Section 13A-12-1

Certain acts prohibited on Sunday.

Any person who compels his child, apprentice or servant to perform any labor on Sunday, except the customary domestic duties of daily necessity or comfort, or works of charity or who engages in shooting, hunting, gaming, card playing or racing on that day, or who, being a merchant or shopkeeper, druggist excepted, keeps open store on Sunday, shall be fined not less than $10.00 nor more than $100.00, and may also be imprisoned in the county jail, or sentenced to hard labor for the county, for not more than three months. However, the provisions of this section shall not apply to the operation of railroads, airlines, bus lines, communications, public utilities or steamboats or other vessels navigating the waters of this state, or to any manufacturing establishment which is required to be kept in constant operation, or to the sale of gasoline or other motor fuels or motor oils. Nor shall this section prohibit the sale of newspapers, or the operation of newsstands, or automobile repair shops, florist shops, fruit stands, ice cream shops or parlors, lunch stands or restaurants, delicatessens or plants engaged in the manufacture or sale of ice; provided, that such business establishments are not operated in conjunction with some other kind or type of business which is prohibited by this section. It shall also be lawful to engage in motorcycle and automobile racing on Sunday, whether admission is charged or not; except, that this proviso shall not be construed to prevent any municipality from passing ordinances prohibiting such racing on Sunday.

(Code 1852, ?73; Code 1867, ?3614; Code 1876, ?4443; Code 1886, ?4045; Code 1896, ?5542; Code 1907, ?7814; Acts 1923, No. 417, p. 559; Code 1923, ?5539; Code 1940, T. 14, ?420; Acts 1951, No. 433, p. 783, ?1; Acts 1953, No. 230, p. 297; Code 1975, ?13-6-1.)

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
(*tosses away NiteWolfy Bro's Groucho Marx moustache ............)
 
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
 
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.  (Ain't gonna touch this one either .... LMAO)
 
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
 
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
 
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
 
Masks may not be worn in public.
 
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
 
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Law:  Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Country: United States
Citation: Section 30-4-1

Separate property of wife - Property held prior to marriage or acquired after marriage.

All property of the wife, held by her previous to the marriage or to which she may become entitled after the marriage in any manner, is the separate property of the wife and is not subject to the liabilities of the husband.

(Code 1886, ?2341; Code 1896, ?2520; Code 1907, ?4486; Code 1923, ?8261; Code 1940, T. 34, ?65.)

City Laws

Anniston Laws - You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Auburn Laws - No person may spit on the floor of a church.

Law:  No person may spit on the floor of a church.
Country: United States
City: Auburn
Citation: Section 9.08.010 Spitting.

It is unlawful for any person to spit upon the sidewalks, or upon the floors of places of worship, buses, public halls, theaters or other public places.

(Ord. 63A ? 3-12, 1977)

Huntsville Laws - If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.
Law:  If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.

Country: United States


City: Huntsville

Citation: Sec. 4-4. Resisting, interfering with, etc., animal control officers.

(a) It shall be unlawful for any person by any physical act to interfere with, resist, molest, obstruct, hinder or impede any animal control officer in the discharge of such officer's duty or to assault, attack, strike or to use any type of physical force toward any such animal control officer while in the discharge of such officer's duty.

(b) When an animal control officer of the city is engaged in the discharge of such officer's duty and this is, or should be, evident to a reasonably prudent person then present, or if such animal control officer is known to such person to be an animal control officer of the city, or such animal control officer is in regular animal control uniform or exhibits an animal control badge or credentials or otherwise identifies him/herself as such animal control officer, it shall of itself be prima facie notice to such person that the animal control officer is such and is then and there so acting.

(Ord. No. 3588, 3-25-93)

Lee County Laws - It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

(cont'd ............. )


Reply
 Message 3 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname»§handar«Sent: 9/6/2005 12:05 PM
Mobile Laws - It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.
Law: It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.
Country: United States
State/Province: Alabama
City: Mobile
Explanation: During the time that there were many military personnel in the area, the law was passed, in order to quiet the young men who would howl at the ladies, embarrassing them.
 
It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
Law: It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
Country: United States
State/Province: Alabama
City: Mobile
Explanation: There was a court case involving a woman who got a heel of one of her shoes caught in a sidewalk grating, fell, and injured herself. Subsequently, the city passed this law in self defense of more lawsuits.
 
If one wishes to read palms in the city, they must first pay $10 for a permit.
Law:  If one wishes to read palms in the city, they must first pay $10 for a permit.
Country: United States
City: Mobile
Citation: Sec. 23-21. Required.
It shall be unlawful for any fortuneteller, as defined in section 23-1, to practice fortunetelling within the city or its police jurisdiction, without first obtaining a permit therefor in compliance with the provisions of this chapter.
(Code 1965, § 22-2)
It is illegal to spit orange peels on the sidewalk.
Law:  It is illegal to spit orange peels on the sidewalk.
Country: United States
City: Mobile
Citation: Sec. 39-76. Spitting or throwing fruit skins, etc., on sidewalks, etc.
No person shall spit or throw fruit skins, parings or peelings upon any sidewalk in the city or upon the floor of any bus operated within the city or in any public elevator, public building, public theater or public hall or upon any walkway in any public park in the city.
(Code 1965, § 41-58)
 
No person within the city may possess confetti. So much for New Year's.
Law:  No person within the city may possess confetti. So much for New Year's.
Country: United States
City: Mobile
Citation: Sec. 39-77. Use, sale, etc., of confetti.
It shall be unlawful and an offense against the city for any person to have in possession, keep, store, use, manufacture, sell, offer for sale, give away or handle any confetti or other substance or matters similar thereto, but not serpentine, within the city or within its police jurisdiction.
(Code 1965, § 41-3)
 
Women may not wear a 'lewd dress' in public.

Law:  Women may not wear a 'lewd dress' in public.
Country: United States
City: Mobile

Citation: Sec. 39-112. Same--Indecent dress, etc.
It shall be unlawful for any person to appear in any public place in a state of nudity or indecent or lewd dress, or make an indecent exposure of his person, or to perform or commit any indecent act.
(Code 1965, § 41-21.1)

Montgomery Laws -
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses. (Repealed)

 

Alaska Laws

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

Anchorage Laws - No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
Fairbanks Laws - It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

Haines Laws - A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license. (Is there such a thing as a Concealed Slingshot License?)
Juneau Laws - Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.  (I wonder if Bloodwolf has seen any pink large birdies lately?)
Soldotna Laws - Persons may not allow "attractive nuisances" to exist.

Arkansas Laws

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

City Laws

Fayetteville Laws - It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Little Rock Laws - Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.  It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. No one may “suddenly start or stop�?their car at a McDonald’s. Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.

California Laws

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. (ummm ok - what happens if it does?? .... The cops lock up the car, and take away IT'S license?)

City Laws

Arcadia Laws - Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Baldwin Park Laws - Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Blythe Laws - You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

Burlingame Laws - It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.
Carmel Laws - Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.  Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
Cathedral City Laws - It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle.  Persons may not ride their bicycles through the "Fountain of Life". (Man!! what a mob of kill-joys!!!!! .... lol)

Chico Laws - One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool. It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.  Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.  Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Dana Point Laws - One may not use one's own restroom if the window is open.

El Monte Laws - Pinball machines are outlawed, as well as mock horse racing games.

Eureka Laws - One must seek written permission from the Director of Public Works before playing baseball in a city park.
Fresno Laws - Getting drunk on a playground is against the law.  Elementary schools may not host poker tournaments.  It is illegal to sell gasoline to a drunken person.   Permanent markers may not be sold in the city limits.  It is against the law to hold a private bingo game. No one may annoy a lizard in a city park.
Glendale Laws - One may not take his dog on an elevator with him.  It is illegal to jump into a passing car.
Hollywood Laws - It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
Indian Wells Laws - Drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited.  Fortelling the future for donations is illegal.  Crushing rocks in the city limits is forbidden.

Lompoc Laws - It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
Long Beach Laws - Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.  It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.










 


Reply
 Message 4 of 4 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameWOLFMANNTHEGHOSTWOLFSent: 9/7/2005 12:47 AM
Only in the USA. The nuts in charge are everywhere. Wolfy

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