My Living Hell
(living with chronic anxiety & depression)
Sitting here ... All alone
Worries abound
Nerves are raw - stripped to the bone
No peace is seen
No peace to be found
Thoughts and panic
Tear my mind asunder
Sometimes I feel
I'll go definitely under
A silent cry
Screams from within
Suicide dreams occur
At the merest whim
Searching for hope
... But then I give in
Such is life
It feels more of a sin
Trying to be happy
Barely making it
Struggling to be positive
But as I fail - so I sit
Is there an end?
I know not
Emotions run wild
Cold ... Then hot
Friends try to understand
Offer a caring hand
But it's hard to explain why
That there are days
When I just want to die
Hating crowds
Not wanting to talk
When I say that
Most people just balk
People see me around
Smiling and no fears
But behind closed doors
I'm drowning in tears
Feeling lost
Pleading for peace
Praying my living hell
.... Will eventually cease.
§handar
11th March 2003
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