Sitting here - peaceful at home
Suffering mind and a tortured heart
Dizzy spells flooding thoughts
Putting shattered words into this tome

 

Losing friends, or that is how it does feel
Frightened and alone - my fate is sealed
Pleading for help from those that know
Only to find scorn with a clinical zeal

 

Being pressured to improve
Both from government and family
Don't they all realise
They are driving me further into insanity?

 

Worrying about my past �?
Present and future
Nothing works

Not even a suture

 

"Attend classes and courses"
"go and see friends"
"exercise more"
"and eat like horses"

 

Yeah right no problem
That is easy for you to say
I feel like my batteries are flat
Every cursed night, every cursed day

 

I used to be energetic, fit and lean
All I feel now is hostile and mean
Dark thoughts and light thoughts
In the same mind

Try being ying and yang - it's got to be seen

Trying to obey
Eating right and taking my meds
But inside I feel like a monster
Something that has 2 heads

 

Experiencing "The Matrix" as a part of everyday life
It's weird, it's freaky, being a mind in strife
Not trusting your eyes or thinking
Thinking the scene infront of you will dissapear
Being able to inflict injury, but no wound will appear

 

This is my life
Watching each cursed day's wane
Wondering if this haunted soul
Will ever be normal again.

 

 

§handar.