Posted on Mon, Apr. 03, 2006

Cruise sets itinerary: baby, movie, wedding

It may be cold and rainy outside, but at least we can bask in the sunshine of Tom and Katie's love.

Tom Cruise told Germany's leading tabloid Saturday he'll marry Katie Holmes this summer, after the birth of their baby and the release of his new movie, "Mission: Impossible III."

Cruise was promoting the film on the popular "Wetten Dass ... (I'll Bet ...)" TV show. He said on the show Saturday that two pilots were ready, should Holmes go into labor.

"If Katie calls, I'm gone," the 43-year-old actor said.

She better not call too loudly. Holmes, 27, is nearly ready to give birth to the couple's first child. She's expected to follow the birthing rules of Cruise's beloved Scientology, which allegedly requires silence from the nondrugged person pushing the watermelon out of her body.

"First the baby, then the film," Cruise said. "Then, in summer, we want to get married. I won't let this woman get away."

Why does that sound suspiciously like "There can be no escape"?

"Mission: Impossible III" will be released May 5.

_____________________________

Whilst driving into town just now, I thought came into my head, and I want honest opinions here .........

I thought it's ok for Crackers (my nickname for Tom Cruise) to push his oddball beliefs about pain and childbirth onto Katie, as far as he is concerned - but would he feel the same way if HE was experiencing the labour pains and contractions that Katie was feeling for the duration of feeling them? Would he change his tune after being in agony for hours on end, with seemingly no end in sight ..... and still not utter so much as a squeak in discomfort?

Me thinks not.

Ok ok ok ..... I'm getting to the part where you lot fit in ..... grab ya spell books, book of shadows, or whatever you may call them and start spell searching.

Keeping in mind the laws of karma though ...... is there a spell where you can caste it on Crackers so that he feels Katie's labour pains and such for the duration of the birth until she no longer feels discomfort? Is there such a spell that can be caste remotely - ie: you don't physically touch Crackers or he has to consume something.

I just thought it would be really gooooooooooooooood to show Crackers that it's ok for a man to waffle on about a woman keeping her gob shut during birth, but it would be sweet if that man turned around and experienced the pain his woman has to endure first hand.

Shan.