Hi my name is Kristi and I promised the Lord that I would give this testimony.  My dad died a little over 3 years ago and I promised him at his grave site that I would tell his story no matter how painful cause it’s my story too.  For as long as I can remember I was afraid of my father.  He was such a mean man.  He was so abusive.  Mainly verbal.  But he would slap me around here and there.  Whenever he felt like it.  You see my dad was a child molester.  He was so evil.  He cheated on my mom so many times and yet she stayed with him.  I asked her why she just didn’t leave him and she said that she was to scare.  But years later it proved to be the best thing for my dad.  I went through a very bad depression.  And finding out everything about my dad only made it worse.  I hated him so much yet I loved him with all my heart.  I tried everything I could to make him love me but I was never enough.  He told me that I was worthless and I would never amount to anything.  All I would ever be was his little nigger.  I was very hurt.  I believed that I was nothing and I didn’t matter cause my dad told me so.  My mom was so clueless so she never could help me.  And when I would cry out for help no one would help me.  I was told that I’m bringing everything on myself and if I would stop acting the way I was my dad would treat me better.  My mom told me that all the time.  No matter what I did or did not do I could never measure up.  Now my mother is a Christian woman but she was very clueless on how to help me.  All that was when I was a teenager.  I tried to buck it up and go on but things with my dad just never got better.  All I ever wanted was a father that loved me unconditionally and that I wouldn’t have to work so hard for that love and acceptance.  Well I went on through life but I was always miserable.  I fell into such a bad depression when I was about 22 that it almost took my life.  I was so bad.  I could actually hear demons in my head telling me bad stuff.  It was like out of a movie.  I would lay in bed with my hands on my head crying and trembling cause they wouldn’t leave me alone.  The demons told me that no one loved me and I’m not worth living for.  No one would miss me and everyone would be relieved if I would just kill myself.  These voices tormented me for months.  I could barely handle it and no one would help me.   I tried drinking and smoking but that only made things worse and when I would get drunk I could never get drunk enough to forget.  I’d always remember everything.   I didn’t see the point in drinking if I can’t forget.  So I stopped that and my friend made me stop smoking.  Which I smoked about a whole pack of black and milds in all.  Definitely not an addict but I sure wanted something to take that unbearable pain away.  Finally one night in May of 2000 I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills cause I had to get rid of those voices, but my stomach wouldn’t accept it and I threw it all up and it never affected me physically.  Tell me that wasn’t God protecting me from myself.  I didn’t realize at the time it was God.  It made me even more depressed cause I couldn’t even kill myself without messing that up too.  My friend invited me to come to his church cause they were having a special service and he wanted me to go.  I told him I would go.  Before I went I prayed and told God that I couldn’t handle life and if He didn’t change me in that service than He had better take my life cause I couldn’t go on the way I was.   And of course no one knew how bad I was.  And me and my dad could not get along for nothing cause you  know I was still worthless.  We had the worst love hate relationship.  So I went to the service and I can’t even explain how strong God was on me from the moment I walked through the doors.  Needless to say He broke me so completely and I could barely walk out of there cause he emptied me out so completely.  Than he filled me up with Him as the night went on.  Than all of the sudden the depression was gone.  The voices in my head were gone.   I felt a strange warm feeling in my chest and I finally figured out that it was my Father God loving me unconditionally like I always wanted my earthly father to do.  It was great.  Than God told me that I had to share my experience with my brother and sister before I was to tell anyone else. So I did.  Than one day I was talking to one of the ladies in my church and told her that I need a little time to share my testimony and my friend also wanted to do a drama, and she ended up giving me the entire wed. night service which scared me to death.  But I prayed like I never prayed before and poured myself over every part of that service and God gave me a vision of how the service would turn out if I gave everything to him.  The vision was that the altars would be filled after I spoke.  At the time I just thought it was a nice dream.  God kept his promise.  Before I was even done preaching people started running to the altars.  There was only about 5 people out of the whole congregation that didn’t go to the altar.  I think there was about 70 or more people there.  Even the pastor was at the altar.  I just cried.  It went so well that night that I was asked to do another service so 2 months later I  got to preach my second sermon.  But I had no idea that this service was going to be the most important one of all.   My dad came to this service.  At one point in the sermon I was so overwhelmed by the holy spirit that I just spoke to my dad like there was no one else in the room.   When I gave the altar call people packed the altars again.  And as they filled up I looked over and I saw my father walking to the altar.  I ran over to him and I know that there was not one dry eye in the whole church.  At that moment my dad became pure and holy and God set him free from his bondage, I could see him changing just by the look in his eyes, and I got to pray with him.  God honored me with that experience.  My father became the perfect father I’ve always prayed for, he even told me that he was proud of me and ministering to people was where I belonged.  I got to enjoy him holding me ever so loving.  I will never forget.  Six days after that service he had a heart attack and died.  So now I know without a doubt that he’s in heaven now.  I promised I’d tell this story since he can’t.  If my dad who was so evil can be forgiven by God and make it to heaven we have no excuses.  Thank you for reading this and blessings to you for taking the time.

Kristi