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| (2 recommendations so far) | Message 1 of 6122 in Discussion |
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yo du u watch chappelle's show |
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THANK YOU TICK!! I LOVE IT!! |
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You couldn't make it up...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7702913.stm
...only in Wales!!! |
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I'm beginning to wonder if BBC news is the code name for some new sketch show...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/black_country/7704603.stm |
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| | From: LadySue | Sent: 11/3/2008 7:46 PM |
Thanks for the funny Welsh sign Arthur!! I looked at it and didn't think it said the same thing either, and I'm from Iowa!!! I think that snafu should be easy to avoid! The second item was 'not available' lol |
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Who would think that would be a hilarious thing to do? The funny part is that they took the toilet seat back and reinstalled it LMAO |
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Regarding the first link..Only in Wales be sure you read the entire article guys..this is so funny Thank you, Arthur |
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I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot). Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan .
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
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here are two things some of us must have... laughs This holiday season, deck the halls with boughs on stardust, pass out droid dreidels, and trim the tree with alien symbiotes. Here are the best holiday decorations and ornament starting with a Godzilla menorah. Godzilla Menorah: Did your menorah ever crawl out of the depths of the ocean to reek havoc on an unsuspecting city? I think not. This lovely zillanorah is available in the Chrismukka book, a guide for interfaith families. DIY Star Wars Droidel:
StarWars.com has an adorable Star Wars Droidel Dreidel which is a tiny little R2 unit that you can make all on your own. Picture from Craft Zine. |
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That is the BEST menorah I have ever seen... |
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| | From: LadySue | Sent: 12/6/2008 3:14 AM |
Awesome!! I at least need to print out a droidal!!! |
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I want that Menorah and that dreidel!! |
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Vampire lore has existed in most cultures for centuries. The common theme was the concept of the dead coming back and plaguing the living with tricks or death. The idea of the current vampire was popularized in the 19th century, owing debt to John Polidori’s Vampyre (1819) and of course, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897). There, the vampire became closer to what we recognize today, masquerading as the living and wanting to love, but needing to feed on the blood of the living to stay alive, and having weaknesses including sunlight, stakes to the heart, and crosses. Over the next hundred years, the rules moved in slight variations here and there, but the vampire became one of the most popular recurring monsters, that the public instantly understood. Powerful, seductive, and needing to feed on the living are all key elements to the vampire mythos. Vampires are possibly at their most popular in the past few years. Anne Rice’s goth romance take on the material, and Joss Whedon’s kickass horror/action hybrid are arguably two of the most popular takes on vampires, informing the variations we have seen in recent years. What’s surprising is that while Buffy, the True Blood books/tv show, the Twilight books/films, and the current Swedish film Let the Right One In all offer variations on the theme for different target audiences, their similarities are surprisingly incestuous. Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire got the jump on the rest of the current crop by being published in 1976, when the only other popular vampire stories in pop-culture were the Hammer horror films starring Christopher Lee. The book got a huge resurgence of popularity with its film adaptation in 1994 starring Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, and Tom Cruise. Rice’s take played up the idea of vampires as decadent nobelmen and women. These vampires did not age, could not go out in the sunlight without burning up, and were killable only by decapitation or fire. They kept to themselves and remained hidden from the world, operating in secret and rarely making other vampires. They were content to amass their fortunes and seduce and kill at night, enjoying their own company. It’s also worth noting, that the stories are set primarily in author Anne Rice’s hometown of New Orleans. Buffy, the Vampire Slayer landed shortly after as a popular tv show in 1997. The show had previously debuted as a film in 1992, but bares only a surface relationship to the show and hardly made an impression at the time of its release. The tv show was focused on a vampire slayer, an empowered woman once in a generation with the strength, speed, and destiny to destroy vampires (and other demons). The show introduced the idea of a powerful woman as the main character in a world of vampires. The vampires on the show were mainly thugs, rarely very smart, with strength and speed as their main abilities, as well as quick healing and an inability to age. Their weaknesses included crosses, needing to be invited into homes, stakes to the heart dusted them instantly, and sunlight made them burst into flame immediately. They did not reflect in mirrors or show up on camera. The rare vampire who would retain his or her intelligence and personality tended to become more powerful. Vampires in this world can look like ordinary people but when they are angry, aroused, or ready to feed, their face twists into a demonic visage with fangs and furrowed brows. Angel and Spike were two vampires who, through the course of the show, lived many centuries, and eventually got “souls�?which meant they could actually feel compassion, guilt, true love, and other human emotions. Without a soul, the show said, vampires felt no remorse for anything. Buffy had a seven season run on tv. Currently, its creator and executive producer Joss Whedon is writing a monthly comic book version of Buffy which continues the story, acting as a “season 8.�?The big villain she’s fighting in this season is named “Twilight�?which seems like an intentional reference to the popular books. Vampires are not known to exist by the world at large, but the U.S. government is aware of them and seems to be working with Twilight to end all supernatural threats. Most every take on vampires that has followed has used one or both of the two recent versions above to inform its take on the world of vampires. Marvel Comics released three very successful Blade movies featuring a hunter of vampires who was half-vampire himself. Similar to Buffy, he had super strength and speed and dusted vampires by beheading or staking them. Interestingly, his early comic book version did not have these same abilities. He was just a tough human who helped battle Dracula. Also added to the film version was a mentor character, Whistler. In Buffy, she has a mentor, Giles. Vampires in Blade have fully fleshed out personalities and motivations. While almost all of them are evil, some are “born�?as vampires instead of bitten and changed and these nobles prefer to stay hidden to the world and not kill. They instead drink from blood banks. Blade was turned into a tv series for one season, but failed to make the impact that the films made. True Blood takes the idea of vampires and says not only do they exist, but they have “come out�?to the world and now everyone knows they are part of their world. True Blood is based on a series of novels that follow the main character, Sookie Stackhouse. True Blood, like Buffy, focuses on a female protagonist. She even has powers. Sookie Stackhouse has the ability to read minds, but can’t hear vampires�?thoughts. Sookie has instant chemistry with an old vampire, Bill Compton. Bill is unlike most of the other vampires in that he is working hard to integrate into society. Others that we encounter are open to society, and even run businesses, but seem to have little respect for humans. Vampires in this world can heal quickly and do not age. Their blood can also help heal humans or get them “high.�?Vampires can put a “glamour�?on humans, hypnotizing them. Older vampires are stronger and there is a clear hierarchy, with older vampires treated as nobles and authority figures. They’re incredibly fast, but not necessarily superhumanly strong. Vampires�?weaknesses include silver, which burns them, and sunlight, which burns them up, though not in an instant burst like on Buffy. Instead they roast and melt like someone in a fire. They also heal quickly. If they get staked, they essentially melt and liquify instantly into a pile of blood and goo. When they get excited, a pair of fangs pops down from the front of the rest of their teeth. Most of them prefer to keep to their own for company, and make “families�?or clans, though Bill’s case prooves they can also love humans. Bill must constantly be careful because he does desire human blood and there is always a temptation to feed on Sookie or other humans he interacts with. In Twilight, vampires also like to live in “families�?but remain hidden to the world. Similar to True Blood and Buffy, the story’s central character is a girl, Bella Swan. She possesses no special abilities, but the main vampire, Edward Cullen, falls for her because he can read other people’s thoughts but not Bella’s. It’s an inversion of the Sookie/Bill relationship from True Blood. The vampires in these books and film, however, follow very few of the popular myths. For instance, while they feel a deep need to drink human blood, the main vampires have refrained from doing so for at least 100 years with no ill effects. In a somewhat obvious/clumsy metaphor for abstinence from sex, the Cullens simply don’t drink human blood (just animals) though Edward supposedly wants to. Also, sunlight just makes them prettier (it makes them sparkle). Crosses are no problem, nor is silver. They don’t age, and actually seem plenty happy with that. Edward goes to school and remains a virgin for over 100 years, seemingly with no problem. Similar to other vampires, they have great strength and speed. No fangs, though. Just normal teeth. They’re incredibly pale and cold. There are vampires that feed on human blood but you only see them for a few minutes in the movie, and one of the three (the father) actually tells the Cullens about the other two wanting to eat Bella, so they’re not much of a threat. How they are killed is a bit vague. The film seems to just toss the bad guy on a fire, but it happens in the background. Another recent film dealing with the romantic relationship between a vampire and a human is the new Swedish film (once again, based on a novel) Let the Right One In. In this film, Oskar is a 12-year old boy who is bullied at school. Oskar gets new neighbors, a girl his age named Eli and her father, Hakan. Eventually, Eli and Oskar become friends, but it is learned that Eli is a vampire, and Hakan is just someone who helps get her victims. Eli and Oskar fall in love, a common element across all of these stories. The vampires in this film do drink blood to survive (and they don’t discriminate on how they choose their victims) but seem otherwise very human in their emotions and day-to-day life. The vampires do not age in this movie. We only see two vampires in this whole film and the second is created by being bitten but not being killed. Sunlight roasts these vamps. They ignite like they’re made out of gasoline. They’re pretty strong, too. One of the most unique rules for vampire lore is one I’ve only seen in this film - cats hate vampires. They don’t just hiss, they full-on attack vampires if they see them. Oh, and if vampires enter a home without being invited, they begin to bleed out of every pore and orifice. So what rules do they each follow or ignore? - Sunlight is deadly for the vampires in True Blood and Buffy and Let the Right One In (and the Blade and Anne Rice vampire movies, for what it’s worth), but not for Twilight.
- All of the vampires need to drink blood to survive, but in Interview with the Vampire, True Blood, Buffy, and Twilight, they can all get by on artificial blood, animal blood, or blood from blood banks.
- The vampires are fast and strong in all of the stories.
- Vampires sleep in coffins or sealed areas or underground in all of the stories except for Twilight, where they live in regular houses.
- Vampires in True Blood, Interview with the Vampire, and Twilight both prefer to live in artificial families of vampires. In Let the Right One In, the vampire uses a familiar, like Dracula did with Renfield. On Buffy and in Blade, vampires often form “nests.�?
- Vampires fall in love with humans in all of the stories.
For all the variations on themes that each of these employ, I think they still share more similarities than differences once you closely examine them, even Twilight. It’s been theorized by many in the media, following the recent Presidential election, that culturally, zombies were the monster we responded to most over the last 8 years and that vampires will be the monster of choice moving forward. It seems like an interesting argument, one worth examining another time. But I think vampires have always been a fascinating metaphor for death and one that has been instead, slowly building a resurgence over the last decade or so, but has not yet peaked. |
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Real Dr. Dolittles: Most claim to understand pet 7 in 10 people say they know what their animals' woofs, meows mean WASHINGTON - Stephen King of rural Texas says he has his dog's vocabulary figured out. Molly Thibodeau says her cats comprehend her so well that they get it when she simply points. Sixty-seven percent of pet owners say they understand their animals' woofs, meows or other sounds, including 18 percent like King and Thibodeau who say they comprehend completely, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. In a finding many parents of teenagers would no doubt envy, 62 percent of pet owners say that when they speak, their critter gets the message. "I speak to her on limited subjects and she does the same with me," said King, 63, a retired chemist from Kempner, Texas, who says he understands his dog, Dagny's, repertoire of barks signaling anger, eagerness, contentment and other feelings. "Common sense works 98 percent of the time." The high level of communication is but one way the poll highlights the bond between many owners and their pets. According to the survey, conducted by GfK, only one in seven owners say they have been forced to trim spending for their pets during the past year's recession. More than four in 10 �?about as many as last year �?are buying holiday gifts for their animals. More women than men say they and their pets understand each other's verbal stabs at communication. Older and lower-income people are also likelier to cite high levels of comprehension between them and their animals. Thibodeau, 20, of Fort Riley, Kan., said her two cats understand her so completely that if she wants to shoo them off furniture, "I point at them and they get right down." More women than men say they understand pets On the flip side, men are twice as likely as women to say they and their pets are clueless about what each is saying to the other �?a group that overall comprises fewer than one in 10 pet owners. It's kind of like, 'What are you doing?'" Edwin Oto, 47, of Moraga, Calif., says of his futile efforts to figure out what his dog, Shilo, wants when she keeps barking after he lets her into the house. Three in 10 dog owners think their pet is baffled when they speak to it, compared with nearly half of cat owners who say the same about their animal. When it comes to communicating in the other direction, cat owners do better. Twenty-five percent of them say they completely understand their cats' meows, compared with 16 percent of dog owners who claim to be totally fluent in barks. But Jane Starring, 48, of Barrington, R.I., says she and her family are confounded by their 8-year-old cat, Flannel, who often chases people about the house meowing. "We're not sure we're making much progress understanding him," said Starring. "I don't know what his point is." William Miller, a professor of veterinary medicine and medical director of Cornell University's Companion Animal Hospital, says it's not unusual for many owners and pets to understand some of each other's speech. He said animals and people learn to communicate verbally by over time associating certain sounds with actions, such as a particular bark when a dog wishes to go outside or the soothing tone many people use when petting their cat. "It's not like you'll sit down and have a U.N. conversation with them" spoken in different languages, Miller said. 74 percent of pet owners have a dog With many households having more than one pet, 74 percent of all pet owners have a dog and 46 percent have a cat, according to the poll. Men and women were about equally likely to own either kind of animal. Twelve percent of pet owners have fish, 7 percent have birds, and 2 percent or fewer have horses, rabbits, rodents, turtles, lizards or other pets. Just 15 percent of all owners said they have scaled back spending for their pets in the past year, suggesting the recession is prompting many to save money other ways before squeezing their pet budget. "They look to me for food and shelter just like my children do," said Charlotte Phillips, 40, of Abingdon, Va., a mother of two whose family is cutting its overall spending but not for its two dogs and five cats. "They can't fend for themselves." Of the group that is cutting back, 27 percent say they have seriously considered giving up their pet. Seventy-one percent say they've thought about buying it fewer toys or clothes, while 60 percent cite switching to less costly pet food. About half spending less for pets say they've thought about postponing routine veterinary visits and getting less grooming. About one in five have considered delaying care for an animal's serious health problems or cutting day care or walking services. Even so, 43 percent of owners said they would buy holiday gifts for their pets, compared with 46 percent who said they had done so last year. Dogs would seem to have more to look forward to this season: 48 percent of dog owners but just 28 percent of cat owners say they will buy their pets gifts. |
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Queens Woman, 86, Fights Off Attacker in Her Home (My mom and I know her) An 86-year-old woman fought off an intruder armed with a knife who broke into her home in South Jamaica, Queens, on Sunday morning, crept into her bedroom and apparently was going to smother her, the police and family members said. The woman, Vivian Squires, was slashed in the back and the neck, the police said. A relative said she was also stabbed in the chest. Ms. Squires was taken to Mary Immaculate Hospital, where she underwent surgery. Before surgery, Ms. Squires spoke with family members about the attack. “She told me she was awake when it happened, that the guy was standing over her face with a pillow,�?her nephew Kenneth Adams said. “He was trying to kill her. She said, ‘He tried to get me.�?nbsp;�?But she fought back, he said. “That’s the reason why she was injured, because she struggled,�?he added. Mr. Adams said the most serious injury was a deep gash to Ms. Squires’s chest. The attack occurred shortly after 6:15 a.m. at Ms. Squires’s home on 134th Avenue. Ms. Squires called the police after the man fled in her car, the authorities said. As of Sunday night, no one had been arrested, leaving neighbors anxious about their safety and worried about Ms. Squires, a widow, a former schoolteacher and a former city correction officer who has lived on the street for 50 years. Ms. Squires was described by neighbors and family members as a feisty, independent woman who held summer parties in her backyard for neighbors and church members, and who worked as a Weight Watchers counselor. Friends said that she had been married twice and that her second husband had died in the 1990s. Her first marriage, to a police officer, ended in divorce, they said. She taught at a preschool on her block in the 1970s, said Tommy Harrington Jr., 32, a member of the Coast Guard who had been one of her students. “She was the one who taught us our shapes, our colors, took us on our field trips,�?he said. “This is very strange. Things like this don’t happen around here. We pray that she doesn’t die.�?/P> Ms. Squires rents rooms to two boarders: a longtime friend whom she refers to as a nephew on the upper floor, and another man in the basement, neighbors said. The tenant on the upper floor slept through the attack, and the other man was out of town, the police and neighbors said. The police said it was unclear how the intruder broke in. Ms. Squires’s purse was emptied, and jewelry and money were missing, said her grandson Kevin Beckles, 33. Ms. Squires’s car, a tan Chrysler sedan, was taken by the intruder, the police said. Neither the knife used in the attack nor her car had been found. Neighbors said they believed that Ms. Squires had been in Florida until late last week. Police officers and crime scene analysts streamed through the house on Sunday. Mr. Beckles said that Ms. Squires came out of surgery on Sunday afternoon and was expected to recover. “She’s a fighter, and she’s going to make it through,�?he said. “A person or persons encountered her in her bedroom and tried to quiet her or shut her up, and stabbed her to quiet her.�? Tico Kyle, 50, a martial arts instructor who lives down the street from Ms. Squires, referred to her as “Aunt Vivian,�?as did others in the neighborhood. Mr. Kyle had pictures of her taking him fishing in the 1960s on a boat in Sag Harbor. “She was very independent, very strong-willed,�?he said. “I guess before the days of feminism you would say she did her own thing. If you were to come here in the summer, there was a tent up and a lot of activity here with a lot of people.�? He added, “I know people a quarter her age who don’t have the energy she has.�?/P><NYT_UPDATE_BOTTOM></NYT_UPDATE_BOTTOM> </NYT_TEXT> </NYT_HEADLINE><NYT_BYLINE type=" " version="1.0"> |
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