Here are a few of my favorites on the Best Of CraigsList:

found cat--black with white stripes

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Date: 2008-05-19, 3:13PM PDT


Hi, I found a cat today near the arboretum. She's black with white stripes down her back. She seems a little standoffish. Does not get along well with children.

She doesn't have a collar, but seems to be an indoor cat and went without hesitation for a can of cat food I opened for her.

I think she's been away from home a while. She's quite smelly. May need a bath.

Please e-mail me to claim. Small rehoming fee (to cover the cost of the litterbox and cat food).

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Dead Moose

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Date: 2008-05-08, 10:33AM AKDT


I have a dead moose free for the taking.

It died yesterday, apparently of natural causes. I called Fish & Game to come and get it. Apparently, moose are a natural resource and belong to everybody, until they die, then they belong to whoevers property they die on. So, according to Fish & Game, the moose now belongs to me. Sweet!!

So, if you want a free moose, please come and get it before the bears do.

You could use it for dog food, or stuff it and put it your front yard, bear bait, whatever. If you live in the lower 48, this might be your best opportunity to get a free Alaska moose. I dont really care, I just want it out of my yard.

Please reply via email, I dont need all the animal rights folks calling me, its dead, and according to Fish & Game, its got no more rights...

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KERMIT SEEKS PIGGY

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Date: 2008-04-19, 2:10PM EDT


For the longest time, I have admired the dynamic between this cross species couple. But then, sometime during the 80s, a commercial for the Muppets: Live on Stage added a new dimension. In it, a stretch limousine was pulling up in front of a theater. A footman opened the door, and a shapely, rather thick leg stepped onto the red carpet. As the rest of the form followed, it was revealed that it belonged to a woman wearing a full bodied Miss Piggy costume under an alluring evening dress. AND I WANTED HER. And, to be quite honest, I've never stopped.

Some time ago, I found an original full head rubber Miss Piggy mask, circa 1977, complete with a full head of long blond hair. I am looking for a tall, sexy BBW, preferably over 300 pounds, to wear this mask to bed. She should also be open to playing with plastic wrap and liquid latex. Blonde is best, I suppose, but not necessary. Who knows – for the right woman I might just get a green rubber suit and a Kermit mask.

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CATBUS

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Date: 2008-03-28, 1:15PM EDT


I HAVE A 1995 MO' VAN THAT GOT TRANSFORMED INTO THIS CATBUS. I BROUGHT IT TO A SHOPS AND I WAS LIKE HEY, CAN YOU TURN THIS INTO A CATBUS? SO THEY DID. THEN THAT DAY I DROVE IT HOME. THE CAT BUS ONLY HAS 50K, WHICH ARE ALL HIGHWAY MILES AS I DROVE IT TO WORK 2 DAYS A WEEK AND THAT WAS IT. IT'S IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE AND ALL THE FUR IS STILL ALL THERE. THE STEERING WHEEL HAS A CAT ON IT. IM ONLY ASKING 2900 FOR THE CATBUS BECAUSE ITS REALLY FURRY AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET SICK ON IT.

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For Sale—One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model

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Date: 2008-04-14, 2:09AM PDT


Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position.

Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large.

Needs re-wiring—Many wires are currently crossed.

Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a
failed effort at camouflaging them.

Needs re-upholstering—Carpet has turned a dingy gray.

Needs front-end work--Tits are too close to the ground, and knees are too far apart.

May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis,

Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply..

Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model.