| Greetings, ladies and gentlemen... The following is a video response to Xavier Homicide's statements and actions as recorded and streamed from W2K.com about the upcoming "High Risk" title opportunity...
The scene opens up to a fantastical site, consisting of a traditional, old fashioned chinese or japanese house, complete with the sliding door, wood floor, elaborate paintings all over the paper-thin walls, even red statues of dragons! The whole works! Akwardly apporaching the door is the universal celebrity: C3PO from the Star Wars world. C3PO waddles up to the door in his retarded-prick fashion and gently taps on the door. The door slides open almost immediately with a soft "swish"ing sound. Behind the door, viewers can see the body of a gianormus individual. The head is not visible, as the individual is too tall to fit into the door way. This individual's body resembles that of a sumo wrestler, merely a friggin huge one. The individual lowers his head and body and steps through the door. The step makes the ground shake as this person weighs at least 700 lbs. After taking another earth-shattering step to be completely out of the hut, this individual straightens up and towers over C3PO, being at least 7'5". What's more, is this individual looks rather unhappy... Sumomo Bubba- Wha'ya waant? This individuals name is, yes, Sumomo Bubba. He is a Sumo legend, but oddly enough has a rather high-pitched voice... C3PO- Oh! Do allow me to introduce myself, yes... I. am. C3PO. Human cycle relations, yes. Bubba grunts... SB- Go 'way! C3PO hesitates in regular pathetic fashion... C3PO- I. am. sorry, sir. But I have been sent on a mission by my current master, the Mojo of Jojo, yes. Bubba grunts again... C3PO- You see, all-powerful Sumomo Bubba, uh, my master, the Mojo of Jojo, is a very powerful and influencial wrestler like yourself, yes.
SB- Nobody as powerful as Sumomo Bubba is! You show me Mojo Jojo, I crush him!
C3PO- Oh my! C3PO spews out random pansy noises... C3PO- As the messenger of the Mojo of Jojo, hm, I have been commanded to demand from you, huh, all of your belongings including your titles and candy, hmm. Sumomo Bubba's eyes bulge. He palms C3PO by the head, lifts him up with ease, grabs C3PO's legs with his other hand and easily tears him into two pieces. Sumomo Bubba yells... SB- I will DESTROY!! Mojo Jojo! I will devour him and all those he loves! As Bubba continues to yell and rave, the camera pans over to the Marcus of Johnson, who is not far from the scene at all. He's got a big old smile on his face... Mark- Believe me, Xabe. I had nothing but good intentions when I took you to those cliffs. In other news, the following is the major difference between me and you, friend. You went up to that guy and said very plainly and politely what you were going to do, much like C3PO just did, then you went and did it. Unforunately C3PO's not a crazy-fast black man and had a slightly different ending than you did. However I was intruiged by your willingness to do something stupid and come out on top! The following will be me doing something even more stupid, and coming out on top. Marcus flashes those two thumbs up, wink, and toothy smile. He casually walks over to the raving Sumomo Bubba... Mark- Hey there, buddy!
SB- If you not Mojo Jojo, I no want to see you! I destroy Mojo Jojo and do nothing else till done!!
Mark- I tell you what! You be a good boy, I'll take you to this Mojo of Jojo...
SB- You know Mojo Jojo? Marcus turns to talk to the camera. Apparently Sumomo Bubba can't hear him... kinda like how thinks went in Malcom in the Middle... Mark- This is a trap, see. You might have noticed earlier that Bubba here not only said he devor "Mojo Jojo", but he also said he'd devour anyone who's affiliated with him. Marcus turns back to Sumomo Bubba... Mark- I don't know Mojo Jojo, but I do know where to find him!
SB- AAah!! Good!! You take me to him!!
Mark- Hey, now! I told you I'd only take you there if you were a good boy. Bubba grunts... Mark- As payment for showing you where Mojo Jojo is, I require something in return... Bubba grunts as if to say "go on"... Mark- First, I wanna rub your belly. Second, I want some of your titles and some of your candy. Bubba grunts again, this time more aggressively... SB- DONE!! Bubba sticks his belly out and Marcus starts rubbing it... Mark- Holy ginormous globe, Batman. You've got a whole world in here! Bubba seems rather proud of his belly. Marcus leans in and starts to whisper in it... Mark- Drew? Drew Stevenson? I know you're in there! Bubba's stomach grumbles a bit... Mark- I hope Bubba's stomach acid eats your fake muscles away. Marcus stands up and nods... Mark- I am satisfied with the first half of our agreement. Bubba grunts and turns out of the way for Marcus to go into the hut. Unfortunately, when Bubba turned to the side, his stomach is in the way of the enterance. Marcus tries to squeeze through anyway. When he does... Mark- Holy dumpster diving, Batman! The place is stacked. A tear rolls down Marcus's face... Mark- It's everything the legend said it would be. Bubba follows in after him... SB- I give you two title, and as much candy as you carry. Marcus nods. He picks out two of the thousands of titles and packs as much candy as he can on his self... SB- OK?
Mark- OK!
SB- Now you show me, Mojo Jojo.
Mark- After I put all this stuff away, alright? Bubba grunts again... SB- Hurry! Bubba follows Marcus as Marcus leaves the hut and dumps all of his new stuff into his car that he had parked not too far away... SB- We take your car?
Mark- No! F*ck no. Bubba would break it!! Mark- Mojo Jojo's not that far away... Marcus leads the way as Bubba follows. The background suddenly changes to that of W2K. They stop after only walking aobut 15 steps. Marcus turns to Bubba... Mark- Sumomo Bubba... I... am... Marcus turns to the camera... Mark- Here goes, you ready for this? He turns back to Bubba... Mark- *dramatic pause* .........................................ready to show you who Mojo Jojo is!! He's right there!! Marcus points at, who else? Xaiver Homicide. Xavier- The f*ck?? Bubba screams his war cry and runs after Xavier. Xavier takes off in the other direction... Mark- RUUUN, BLACK MAN, RUUUN!!! Marcus smiles... Mark- He'll be fine. Xabe holds true to the steriotype. You won't get to see this promo for a while, probably, Xabe... but I hope you made it okay. That's the major difference between you and me, Xabe. You did a good job of going out of your way to impose a high risk situation upon yourself. I have, now twice, gone out of my way to impose a high risk situation on you of all people. That's how we roll, right? That's who we are! Remember, though. I'm only doing this because it's good for you. I'm a friend that takes care of his friends... maybe in slightly unorthodox ways, but you have to admit you'll be ready for the High Risk match when Rage rolls around, thanks to me, eh? Eh?? EH?!!? Marcus nudges the air like there's somebody there. He winks and does his one-fingered salut as the scene fades... | 
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