Call me a goofball, but I think it's the most romantic thing when fools fall in love. Two that can't comprehend simple concepts look at each other with their eyes crossed and jaws hanging slack. They approach each other from across the Toys R' Us. They exchange their Yu-Gi-Oh cards and Sesame Street plushies, cartoon hearts popping up above their heads. They embrace each other in hugs and eskimo kisses. The introduce themselves to each other. One being Xavier Homicide, the other being Summer Stratus. Xavier Homicide comments on her last name, asking her if she's related to Trish, and Summer responds with a positive grunt. Summer comments on his last name and asks if he's related to Freddy Krueger (lolz), and he responds with an affirmative grunt. They almost instantly begin to get their smooch on, and soon after begin to discuss how they can become the top dogs of the wrestling business.

Oh heavens.

Fade in, Palsied, yes.

Palsied: "Well, this certainly is going to be a great summer. Palsied--God of Wrestling and TV Champion? Well, that rolls off the tongue doesn't it? But we've already discussed how I will get farther in the God Of Wrestling tournamnet. I have to get through Kryptt, Sean Hunter, and more than likely, Seifer. That should be fun. But what about this whole TV Championship fun? Well young master Palsied, you must conquer your greatest challenge yet! Your joke of an opponent from last week, your joke of an opponent from two weeks ago, and her boyfriend!"

Time stops for a minute.

Palsied: "Well that's going to be a problem! I mean, how can I possibly defeat the laughing stocks of W2K?! Johnny Legend? Xavier Homicide? SUMMER STRATUS? Oh heavens, God have mercy on my poor unfortunate soul."

Nah.

Palsied: "So let's see. I have to face the three of them at this coming RAGE in a fatal four way match, and the person to be pinned or the person to tap out is eliminated, and the three remaining return next week. Then the same happens and the week after that, it's the deciding match. So let's see. I have to deal with these fellows for three weeks straight? That's not even including the fact that I've had to face these imbeciles for the past couple weeks, excluding the one where I wrestled Haywire."

Cry about it, douchebag.

Palsied: "But it will be all worth it in the end. I will go down in history as the one who survived the idiocy of the three imbeciles that are Johnny Legend, Summer Stratus, and Xavier Homicide. I will have the W2K Television Championship. And if God is merciful, I won't have to bore myself and the fans with facing any of them ever again. Honestly, the matches are so boring. I do my best to spark them, but they're such bland and boring people, that it rubs off on their wrestling. And this promo? I'm so unmotivated it's not even funny! They are so unentertaining that I have nothing to feed off to throw back at them."

He sighs.

Palsied: "Fuck this, I'm going to get a smoothie."

Fade out.