..SCENE ONE..
//The scene opens with Xavier pacing back and forth in his locker room//
HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK.....HIGH RISK...........................
*Xavier sotps pacing for a moment then finally looks like he has an idea because of the bright smile on his face and then the smile turns to anger*
DAMN!!!!!!!!!! STILL NOTHING!!!!!
*Xavier starts pacing and rubs his beard as he does so while talking to himself*
Okay Xavier think....think....damn thinking never works.
*Xavier stops pacing and sits on his couch*
Okay Xavier its not that hard. Just think of something simple to try and get the upperhand on Marcus. You could send 1000 Oreo pizzas to his locker room and then laugh as he has to pay about about $30,000 to pay for them.
*Xavier then thinks that over*
Nah that trick is so old that they used to send pizzas to Mr. Belding on Saved by the Bell. I can't use that one. Let's see, I could cut his break lines and take the air out of his tires.....Nah I did that when I was 4 and ir took forever before Mr. Brady got out of the hospital.
*Xavier continues to think*
I could put marbles or banana peels outside his dressing room to and see if he falls when he coems outside of his locker room.....nah that sounds like something Wile E. Coyote would do.
*Xavier continues to think and talk no longer talking in the first person*
Come on it shouldn't be so hard to come up with something. I got straight As in high school. Even though I did sleep with the History teacher to get my grade up.....Ahhhhh Ms. Hernandez, she taught me the true meaning of Spanish Inquisition and about invading the south. But that's a whole other subject.....wait a minute....wait a minute I can't think of a way to get the upper hand on Marcus Johnson but I can think of a way to prove that no one is willing to take a high risk like me. Camera man follow me.
*The scen comes to a close but re-opens about an hour later outside the local Freak & Slide Motel*
Okay ladies and gentlemen I know you're wondering what I'm doing at this cheap and sleazy motel. Well its quite simple. I'm here to prove that Xavier Homicide is High Risk. How am I going to do that? Well its simple....so to speak. See I had a lot of things going through my head about how to get the upper hand on Marcus Johnson. But after thinking...thinking...and thinking some more I just couldn't come up with anything. So I decided to put that on the back burner for a while and to just do what I did the first time. In my first promo for the High Risk Title I did something to prove how High Risk I was. I went up to somebody's front door and told them that I was there to have sex with his three daughters as well as his wife. This man had a huge gun collection which I already knew about. But he also had two big dogs which I knew nothing about. Of course after hearing the news that I was there to have sex with the women in his family he got pissed....even though I brought protection. So just like I thought he would, he ended up chasing me around the neighborhood along with his dogs. Of course they didn't catch me and I ended up alone in the house with the women in his family and if you use your imagination you can figure out what happened there.
*Xavier has a big smile on his face*
So I thought to myself, Xavier....how can you top that? What could you possibly do that could prove that you are more High Risk than you were in the first promo. I thought about sky diving but I had already been to a cliff and pushed off the cliff thanks to Marcus Johnson trying to eliminate the competition. So I just kept thinking to myself. What is something dangerous. What is something crazy? What is something High Risk that I could do? After a while of thinking something finally got an idea. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. Like a bolt of lightning. I thought to myself that this is what Alexander Graham Bell must've felt like when he invented the telephone. This is what Thomas Edison must've felt like when he invented the light bulb. This what....that French guy must've felt like when he invented the menage a trois'. The High Risk idea that came to mind was..................
*Xavier does a drum roll on the wall with his hands*
To have sex with former WWE Diva and former WWE Women's Champion.........LITA!!!!!!!!!
*Xavier allows a dramatic pause for a moment for "ooos" and "ahhhhs" and "gasps"*
That's right. I am going to go where no man has gone before.....
*Xavier thinks that last statement over for a moment*
Correction I'm going to going where many, such as Matt Hardy, Edge, most of the male locker room, half of the diva locker room, all the backstage workers, and alot of the fans have been before. This is probably the biggest risk, that any man or beast could possibly take. There's no telling what will happen as a result of what I'm about to do. But I'm doing it to prove a point, and a point is what I will prove.
*Xavier starts walking and stops at room #68*
Room 68? I thought she'd be in room 69.
*Xavier hesitates before he goes in the room*
As you can see I'm a bit worried about going in here. You never know what's going to happen. Bu I just need to suck it up, me a man and prove how High Risk I truly am.....
*Xavier takes a deep breath and then goes inside the motel room. About 5 seconds he comes running out and runs towards a trash can and vomits inside of it. This goes on for about 2 minutes before Xavier finally has the strength to talk.*
Okay I'm sorry but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't muster up the courage to commit an act so vile and despicable.....
*Xavier takes a couple of short steady breaths and then takes one long deep one.*
Okay. I couldn't do it for two reasons.
A) Because the X-Man has a heart and I couldn't handle using Lita as an experiment for everyone in the world to see
2) Because Lita wasn't even in the room....it was....it was....it was....it was MAE YOUNG!!!!!!!!!!! And she had on lingerie....and all her stretch marks, wrinkles, and veins looked like a road map to the northpole....excuse me for a second.....
*Xavier starts vomitting in the trash can again for anotehr two minutes.*
I'm tired of playing games. I'm tiredof trying to "one-up" Marcus Johnson. I'm tired of trying to prove how High Risk I am by random acts on the streets. Because all this extra stuff doesn't matter one bit. Its not going to help me or Marcus Johnson or anyone else involved in this match. And it proves nothing. But on Rage when the High Risk Title is on the like, that's when I prove myself. That's when I prove I am worthy of the High Risk Championship. And that's when I prove that I am going to beat anyone who gets in the way of my goal of holding gold in this company. Tonight at Rage, I become W2K High Risk Champion and there's nothing that anyone can do about that. And if by some miracle or fluke I don't win tonight, you can bet your house, life, and everything in between that I will be comingfor whoever ends up with the High Risk Championship eventually. The High Risk Championship is my title to win and my title to lose. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go gargle with a bottle of listerine.
//Xavier runs off camera as the scene fades to black//
DISCLAIMER: This promo is meant to be no disrespect to Lita(Amy Dumas) its all in fun lol
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