| Dante for President!!
Oh wait!.. Dammiiiiiit!! Stupid canadiens and their non-American government... So who is this guy DeadPool?? He's like a demented demon spawn hybrid of Mason Caine and Chris Tougher... Mark- I have something very important to say... I'm only going to say it once... That is, once until he feels like saying it again... Mark- So I would appreciate it if you would all pay close attention... Marcus pauses for dramatical purposes... Mark- I was right alllll along. Marcus should trademark that line. He seems to be saying it an awful lot recently... Mark- The gold junkie didn't come out on top at the end of the night, it wasn't the "C3PO-in-a-man-suit", it wasn't the stoner, it was me. Marcus raises the High Risk title for viewers to see... Mark- The little ol' security mutt. Like he didn't get enough of that crap from Nova or something. I swear, if Dante wasn't canadien I would confuse the two... Mark- Be happy I didn't taze you f*ckers.
But now that that's over with, I'd like to thank teh See Emm for stepping up and taking over managerial powers and giving me this fantastic opportunity to defense my newly won title. Marcus scowls... Mark- I thought we were pals? Me and you? Nobody has their arms tied behind their back?? Nobody's blindfolded? Nobody's cuffed to the ropes? Marcus shakes his head... Mark- What kind of title defense is this?? This is disgraceful!! You might as well squat down and take a full blown sh*t on this title and everything it stands for!! A ladder match?? Marcus throws his hands up... Mark- The Marcus of Johnson doesn't work like this! Do you know what happens in ladder matches?! You put 5 guys in one ring with a ladder, and anybody could take it down! Marcus shrugs... Mark- A-n-y-b-o-d-y. Regaurdless of talent? Will? Heart? All that good stuff that makes this world good and a half-decent place to live in? Marcus does a motion of throwing something over his shoulder... Mark- Gone. He snaps his fingers... Mark- Just like that. The one who wins is the one who is in the right place at the right time. That could be anybody! JAR-Head could win the match... He could! It's true! He is infact in it... Mark- Wazee?? What?! JAR-Head's in the title match?! The guy that nobody wants to be around because he'll bust a nut at any given moment?!?
Great!! Just great... Stick me in the ring with anybody why don't you? What else? How can the title defense possibly be deteriorated any more? How about... throw in somebody I've beaten before and haven't thought about twice since? Ryan Ross, check. Mark- Or how about your usual violence-loving nutjob who has some twisted reason for going 500% in the match? DeadPool, double check. Mark- Oh! And you can't forget the has-been that more than likely won't even show up, and if he does he'll be stone cold drunk. Aaand James McKnight. Yep! We got it all!! Mark- Five-star classic in the making. Story of my life. Well... sorta. Mark- I don't know what king of label you people think this High Risk title has on me now that I'm the holder of it... but it's bull sh*t and should be forgotten as quickly as Jamal Atkins. I'm imposing a label of my own on this title, not the other way around. Me and General Patton, we have our own way of doing things. We two great minds think alike. I think you people know what I'm referring to... "No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his!" I didn't kill myself to win this title. You people thought I was going to a once or twice, I bet... but I didn't still the same. I don't think I need to remind you what I actually did, either. Marcus nods... Mark- I have actions to speak for my words in this case.
Bubba- Mojo!! The scene pops backwards to see Sumomo Bubba walking towards Johnson and his Wall of Marcus looking slick. His hair, which was originally in a fag bun is now braided into short dreads with some beads on them, kinda like Elijah Burke. He's got a ginormous collared shirt on and some nice sunglasses on the top of his head instead of on his eyes. He's also sporting a confused and helpless look on his chubby face... Bubba- I can't find it!!
Mark- Monkee!! About 5 ninja monkies flip into attention in front of Marcus... Mark- Okay... Monkee's. Show Bubba here where to find the money we got from selling Summer's clothes. They, all five, salut Marcus and start howling and yelling at Bubba. Bubba screams in a high pitch squeal and starts running away from them, but they are easily faster than him. They guide him in the direction he needs to go... Mark- This whole manipulation thing's pretty nice, isn't it Dante? I may not have quite as much motivation as does your incest sewer rat, but I have something he doesn't. Marcus taps his forehead... Mark- Among other things, I have awareness. And I have the ability to improv strategy as I go. And I only take calculated risks. And I won't kill myself over a pair of feet. ... Mark- I'm not bribing Bubba with anything. He's following my lead for his own gain. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed either, but at least the big guy has some pride and self-respect.
In other news, I was complaining about being in this ladder match earlier. This is because of how rediculsouly easy it is for me to lose my title. However, if I were a contender and it was somebody else's title up for grabs, I would be extatic. People like me excell in matches like this. Because it's all on being in the right place at the right time, people like me concentrate of making those moments happen. People like DeadPool... No. They can't grasp that concept. They go all out, attack everything in sight like it's a matter of life and death, take all the risks that opportunity provides, and end up crashing and burning. DeadPool will fight bravely, he will fight with passion, he'll probably do a good amount of damage to just about everybody involved in the match, most likely myself included. But he won't win. He can't win. He doesn't know how. You can do your best to expalin it, and you might even get him to memorize what he's supposed to do and repeat it to you, but once that bell rings all those hours of studying will go out like a light and he'll go back to his insticts. Marcus bows his head... Mark- Ryan Ross is a differnent story. I would be more worried about this guy if I hadn't faced him before. Lucky for me I know what to expect, and even more lucky for me I know how to handle him. People say you can only learn when you fail. I agree with that statement, but I don't think it's that black and white. I didn't fail in my match against Ryan Ross in the sense that I came out with the big Dubya. I did fail in the sense that there were some definate things I needed to change if I were going to fight him again. Marcus bows his head again... Mark- And voila! Now's my chance.
James McKnight I'd be even more worried about if I thought he was going to show up. I sent him an alcohol gift card usable only during the day of Meltdown and during Meltdown. It expires once our match is over, so he better use it! It'd be a shame to pass that uh, eh?
JAR-Head?.. Marcus stops before going on. He looks at the ceiling and tries to think of what to say... Mark- He's JAR. Marcus shrugs... Mark- And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Once again, the stage is set! All the right people are in all the right situations for the Marcus of Johnson to once again!.. You ready? Here it comes... Mark- Shiiine... Oh yeah! We're out on the pearly whites... | 
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