DATE: July 4th, 2008
TIME: 3:21 AM
SUBJECT: I have a computer, too!

"Hello Blog-goers everywhere! This marks my first (and probably last) blog entry! I figured since douchebag (Summer Stratus) can use this infernal contraption, so can I! You see, she likes to try hiding from actually using real, good old fasioned promo shoots, so it's harder for me to battle back, but I know better. I just fight her at her own game. From narrator wars to computer wars, I'm always parallel. You can't run from me, Summer. So quit trying.

So, the idiots have decided to try to prove their intelligence. Homicide even said something about me living in my own little world! Nonsense! Tom-foolery! Just because I shower in vegetable oil and call my mother 'Thor' doesn't mean I live in my own world! It simply means I take too many meds. And smoke lots of crack. LOTS OF IT!

Victory.

Anydamnway, before I get further off track. Summer thinks she's some kind of genius for coming up with the whole "handicap-within-a-triple threat" deal. She thinks that because she had the idea that her and Xavier work as a team to eliminate me, she's some kind of innovative wrestling strategist?

Not quite, darling.

It only makes sense that friends work together in a match like this. And no, I would not rejoice at the opportunity to work on a team with someone in an effing triple threat match, Madam Stratus. Although I'm probaly the biggest asshole on the planet, I don't need someone else to help me win a match. I'm not the biggest fan of tag team matches, you see. Sure, they can be fun, gives me a chance to rest so the other person can beat on the opponent for a bit, but that's not what wrestling is. Pure wrestling is a one-on-one, 'let's beat each other until one of us passes out' contest. Not an 'okay, your turn' type of deal. Which is why I will not allow you two to beat me at Meltdown. Because if you do, it will go against everything wrestling stands for.

And what is that? That's real wrestling, which I just described. That's eliminating the logic of a wrestling match, considering neither of you seem to possess any intelligence. Do you have any idea how shitty of a match that would be? Summer Stratus vs. Xavier Homicide? Talk about a snooze fest. Jesus Christ.

If I were you, Summer I'd me more worried about my opponent at Meltdown than about the size of your boyfriend's package.

Good fucking night."