Joey: I suppose you’re right.

 

Trunks: Ring.

 

(Yep. The bell rings, and all three guys are ready to go. Yay. Darh and Messiah circle up�?while Bruce gets outta the ring and sets up a microphone stand, strapping on his guitar.)

 

Trunks: The hell is he doing?

 

(“Born in the U.S.A.�?is performed live, in front of the Collision Course crowd, during the match. Darh and Messiah approach one another�?BAM! Quick snap jab from Darh to the nose of Messiah, as the music continues to bounce off the walls of the arena.)

 

Joey: Well�?this is�?interesting.

 

(Indeed it is. Darh continues the offensive, backing Messiah up to the corner and getting a knee to the gut. Another. Another. Darh goes for the whip to the opposite buckle, Messiah reverses and Darh hits hard, but bounces right out and FLOORS Messiah with a clothesline. Holy snap, homie. Darh stays on his opposition, putting the boots to Messiah’s face before dropping for the pin and getting two. Darh with the pick-up and Messiah reverses a whip to the ropes. Messiah goes low for a back body drop, but sets way too early. Darh telegraphs the move with a swift kick to the face of his fellow W2K rookie. Messiah seems unaffected, however, and drops Darh with a clothesline of his own.)

 

Joey: Messiah finally hitting his first offensive move of the match.

 

Trunks: I’m shocked.

 

(So, anyway, after having knocked his opponent down, Messiah seems a bit dumbfounded as to what he should do now. Springsteen is still singing his little song, as Messiah goes to the top rope. Off a little clothesline? Wow, rookie move. Darh’s up, and LAUNCHES Messiah from the top turnbuckle, halfway across the ring. Darh follows up and drops down on Messiah, landing several blunt fists to his opponent’s jaw, only to break at the count of five. Having finished his song, Bruce starts “Born in the U.S.A.�?over again, from the beginning, because I can’t think of any other Springsteen songs. Deal with it. Darh with the pick-up, Messiah goes for a clothesline, Darh ducks, REVERSE DDT! Cover�?one�?two�?thr- SHOULDER UP!)

 

Joey: Hooray.

 

Trunks: Nuts.

 

(Darh looks unhappy as he stands up, dropping a leg across Messiah’s throat. Again. Again. Darh is relentless here. He gets the pick-up, once more�?MESSIAH BREAKS FREE!)

 

Joey: HE’S ALIVE!

 

Trunks: Ugh!

 

(Messiah pokes Darh in the eyes�?turns�?AND HITS THE PROPHA-�?NO! DARH COUNTERS WITH A SHOVE TO THE ROPES! Messiah bounces back�?gut kick�?ELEVATED DOUBLE ARM DDT! Cover�?one�?two�?THREE! Just in time for Springsteen to finish his song the second time.)

 

 

Trunks: �?jobbers.

 

Joey: What ever do you mean, Trunks? I have never heard this word “jobbers�?before.

 

Trunks: What? I’m not supposed to say it because we’re on TV? Meh.

 

Joey: Let’s just hit the match.

 

Trunks: Right.

 

(Ryan and Cross are conversing, JJ Cool J and Steve Weigel aren’t. Ding, ding, Ryan and Weigel start it off. Weee, Ryan with a charge. Weigel goes for the clothesline, it’s ducked, Ryan hits the ropes and SPINNING WHEEL KICK! Weigel hits the mat, hard. Ryan with the pick-up, backs Weigel into The Freaks�?corner and makes an early tag out to Cross. Too early? What do you know? They’re The Freaks, asshole. Ryan holds Weigel for Cross to land a gut kick before stepping out onto the apron. Cross with a side headlock, Weigel pushes him off to the ropes and Cross comes back, dropping Wiegel with a shoulder block.)

 

Joey: Cross is like a wall.

 

Trunks: A focking wall, indeed.

 

Joey: What did you just say?

 

Trunks: Hey, look.

 

(Cross locks up Weigel’s legs in an Indian Deathlock, uberclose to the ropes. Cross is close to the ropes, that is. Weigel cries out in pain, in fact, I think he even sheds a few tears. But that might be more due to the beauty of the lights he’s looking at than the pain in his legs. Emo bastard. The referee checks on Weigel, and Cross reaches back with both hands. Ryan grabs on and pulls. Haha, oh man, you should hear him scream now. The Freaks sure do come off as bad guys, real often�?but the fans just can’t get enough of them. They’re The Freaks. Cheating isn’t a problem. Anyway, the ref looks up, and Cross let’s go of Ryan. The hold is broken, due to Cross being bored, as he walks over to Ryan and tags out, Weigel still writhing in pain. Ryan comes over and gets the pick-up on Weigel. He does nothing but stand Weigel up�?making sure he’s nice and balance, so that he won’t fall down, before taking a few steps back.)

 

Joey: What is he doing?

 

(ZERO! Ryan almost takes Weigel’s head off, there.)

 

Joey: I see, now.

 

(Ryan doesn’t go for the pin. Instead, he lifts Weigel up, and pushes him at JJ. Weigel bumps into JJ, and there’s that team’s first tag of the night. Weigel falls limply into the corner, and JJ doesn’t wanna get in the ring. Ryan smirks arrogantly. JJ finally steps in for fear of disqualification from the referee.)

 

Trunks: What’s his problem?

 

(Ryan and JJ lock up. Ryan with a drop toehold, and rolls over into a side headlock. He spins it around to a horizontal front facelock, then rolls it over to an inverted necksnap! OUCHIES! Ryan Cain performing some chain wrestling�?all by himself. Don’t see that everyday. Ryan moves back over to JJ’s legs and locks on a single leg Boston Crab�?then leans back with a bridged STF�?before rolling down, on top of JJ, and spinning around on him like a helicopter propeller or something. He slaps JJ on the back of the head a few times before getting up to his feet again. JJ gets up and he doesn’t look too happy. He charges�?leaps�?AND RYAN DUCKS! JJ goes right over him�?and bumps into Cross. Cross doesn’t look happy. JJ looks up at him�?his back to the action�?Ryan hits the ropes in front of JJ and SPEARS him to the canvas. Ryan gets up, leaving JJ flattened, before tagging out to Cross. Cross comes in with a slingshot legdrop. Jesus, he’s a big guy to be doing that.)

 

Trunks: Jesus, he’s a big guy to be doing that.

 

(I just said that, damn it. Cross with the cover, but lifts JJ up at two. Pick-up, gut kick, powerbomb! No pin attempt from Cross. What the hell is up with that? He picks JJ up as Ryan heads to the top rope. Cross flips JJ over, behind him, vertibreaker style. Yay, Shadows Fall/legdrop combo for JJ Cool J. Cross lifts up a still limp Steve Weigel and slaps him awak. Ryan heads to the apron, Cross with the whip, and sends Weigel FLYING into the air over his head on the rebound. Ryan springboards off the top rope�?and SPEARS WEIGEL IN MIDAIR! CRASH! BOTH MEN HIT THE MAT! Ryan falls over, to the mat, and Cross covers. Uno, dos, tres. Match over.)