"Feeling low?"

[ An advertisement begins to play, with Johnny Legend sitting in a Leather chair in the centre of a cosy ‘Lounge’�?Next to the chair is a small side-table with a Phone on it. ]

Johnny Legend: "So freakin�?low that you may jump off the nearest bridge?"

[ Johnny shrugs with a sympathetic look on his face ]

Johnny Legend: "Tired with the constant rejection? Looking for a role model to base your romantic success upon?"

[ Johnny makes a ‘pfft�?face ]

Johnny Legend: "Well look no FURTHER! Johnny Legend’s here to help YOU! Call this special hotline at just $2 a minute for the best advice on how to be successful in love."

[ Johnny picks up the phone and pulls of a cheesy showbiz smile! ]

Johnny Legend: "What’s that number? That’s right, it’s 666-4588!... That’s 666-4588!"

[ The Number flashes on the screen for a moment…Legend puts the phone down, and leans in, grinning widely ]

Johnny Legend: "Fancy dating a chick WITHOUT a dick? Then call NOW for my exclusive advice! Just 5 minutes worth of MY advice and you’ll no longer be the desperately horny and viciously unattractive sack-of-crap that’s sitting in front of the TV right NOW!"

[ Johnny sits back ]

Johnny Legend: "So folks, don’t delay�?A life actually worth living is just $2-a-minute away!"

[ Fade to black ]