Wo wo wo! We're ringside for Johnny Legend's match against Cross. All the fans in the joint are buzzing like they're wasps in a bee's hive. Wasps always ruin the party, stupid wasps. Kewl is getting ripped on by Kenni, and some of the fans sitting next to them are pointing and laughing at Kewl. Poor Kewl.

"Due to the graphic nature of this program... listener discretion... is advised."

The infamous words of the opening to Edgecrusher by Fear Factory rips through the speakers followed by the opening chords of the song. The crowd comes to their feet with a huge ovation as Cross steps out through the curtains and onto the stage donning a sleeveless "Straight Shootin' Hardcore Canuck" shirt. He stands there momentarily looking out at the crowd before making his way down the steps and into the aisle heading for the ring. He slides into the ring, and stands up.

Binkle: "The following match is a San Antonio street fight bout. There really is no introduction needed, this man is CROSS! If you don't know him... now you do, and what rock were you under?"

Cross isn't paying attention as Johnny Legend pops out from the crowd with a chair, and hops up onto the top rope. The fans start yelling, but's too late! Legend launches himself off the top rope, and NAILS Cross with a huge chair shot! Cross falls to a knee, and looks up at Johnny who slams the chair stiffly across his back once again. This time Cross falls to the mat, and rolls out of the ring. He holds his back in pain, and suddenly he finds Johnny frickin' Legend diving through the ropes, and knocking him into the announcer's table.

Kewl: "Whoa, Johnny Legend is surprisingly in control here in the beginning."

Kenni: "What did you expect? That big giant oaf to have the lightning quick and extremely brilliant Johnny Legend under his thumb? I don't think so!"

Legend: "Thanks, Trunks."

Cross: "I'LL KILL YOU TRUNKS!"

Kenni: "Yipe!"

Johnny Legend still somehow gets the upper-hand on Cross, and slams his face against the announcer's table. Legend drags Cross over to the barricade, and slams him up against it, which causes it to topple over. Legend picks Cross back up, and attempts a suplex, but Cross powers out of it. Legend is left out of position, and Cross just shoves him into the apron, causing Legend's back to hit the edge of the mat hard. While Legend copes with the pain, Cross is up to no good! Cross rips the barricade up off the ground, completely breaking the couplings that connect the steel barricade to the other barricades. He turns around, and runs right at Legend. Legend's eyes get real big, and somehow... in some crazy Twilight zone way, Cross hits nothing but ropes. Cross stumbles back, turns, and walks right into a dropkick from Legend. The kick sending the barricade right into Cross' face. Cross stumbles back, and looks like he's seeing stars. Legend walks up, and right before he gets to Cross, Cross whips the barricade right into his face. Legend hits the floor, and covers his face.

Kenni: "That's blasphemy! Destroying a face like that!"

Kewl: "You like Legend's face?"

Cross picks Johnny up, and lifts him up into the air military press style. He tells the crowd to move out of the way, and of course they move. When Cross says jump, they say 'How High was a great fuckin' movie, Cross!', and jump. As soon as the fans clear out, Cross dashes towards the empty chairs, and looks as if he's going to throw Johnny into them, but somehow Johnny slips out of Cross' grasp! Cross runs forward a bit, and turns around to see a chair flying right at his face. He punches it out of the way, and walks towards Johnny who picks up more chairs and throws them at him. Cross slaps them away like the terminator, until he grabs one, is close enough to Johnny, and hits Johnny over the head so hard it leaves an indent the shape of Legend's head on the seat. Legend crumbles to the floor as the fans go spastic! Cross picks Legend up, turns the chair around so that the indent is facing out, and slams the chair across his head once again. Now the chair is back straight somewhat, and Legend begins to don the crimson mask.

Kenni: "UNBELIEVABLE! A face of solid gold just started gushing blood!"

Kewl: "You do! You really like Legend's face, what else do you like about him? The smell of his hair? His spunky in-your-face attitude? Oh, he's not spunky, and he's usually meddling behind people's backs. I must be thinking of someone else."

Kenni: "Like your mom."

Kewl: "Yeah, well at least I don't say 'YIPES' when I crap my pants."

Kenni: "No, you just say 'MOMMIE, GET OFF OF TRUNKS AND COME CHANGE MY DIAPER!' Loser."

Cross goes to pick Legend up, but Legend hits a low blow on Cross. Cross doubles over, and Legend just keeps low blowing him. Soon enough the fans are throwing trash at Legend who gets to his feet, looks at Cross, and makes a break for it backstage. We follow after Johnny who is zipping down the corridors, he turns one corridor, and bumps right into the Jerm.

The Jerm: "What the Hell are you doing back here? Don't you have a match?"

Legend points behind him, and explains himself in between pants.

Legend: "Big guy... *pants* gonna... *pants* kill me... *pants*... or worse *pants*... cut my hair!"

The Jerm's eyebrows raise.

The Jerm: "You're overreacting, clean yourself up, and go back out there!"

Suddenly a florescent lightbulb swings out of no where, and smashes across Legend's face. Legend falls over, anc clutches his face. Cross steps into the scene now, and starts dragging Legend away by his foot.

Cross: "'scuse me, Jerm. Gotta take out the trash."

The Jerm hollars after him, "WHAT? I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO BE A GARBAGEMAN!"

Cross picks Legend up, and tosses him right through a wall into the male's locker-room. We hear a bunch of girllish screams as Cross walks in through the hole in the wall, grabs Johnny, and suplexes him through the wall this time. Now that the entire wall is destroyed we can see who was screaming. Cross gets up right as we look, and gives Big Bad Kowalski a look.

Cross: "What the Hell are you doing?"

BBK covers himself up with a towel.

BBK: "Let's talk about what I wasn't doing. I wasn't trying on Serenity's bras. I wasn't in the male lockerroom because I'm still in the STS bus, and I definitely wasn't seen on camera! BESIDES, YOU GOT A MATCH TO DO ALREADY, JEEZ!"

We turn to see Legend getting to his feet, and starting to run away. Cross of course follows after him, catches up to him, and starts throwing him into things again. Cross tosses JL straight through a door and we hear more screams, femalre screams this time as Cross walks into see JL laying on the floor as Kit Black runs away in a towel. JL scurries off between Cross' legs back into the hallway as Cross runs up and grabs him by the hair. Cross finds the catering table, and grabs a pot of coffee. He smashes it across the back of Johnny's head, and the scolding hot coffee runs down Legend's back. Legend's screams make everyone around them cup their ears. Soon enough Cross powerbombs Legend through the catering table itself. Cross disappears for a second to grab something out of a fan's cooler, he reappears holding it above his head. Legend starts to get up, and looks up to see Cross holding a 40 ounce bottle of Budweiser above his head. Legend shoots to his feet, and pokes Cross right in the eyes. Cross drops the 40... right into Legend's hands. This prompts Legend to grab it, and smash it over Cross' head. Cross stumbles back, and brushes some of the glass out of his hair as Legend books it again.

Kewl: "I don't see how that would effect Cross, that probably happens to him every weekend."

Kenni: "Legend was the one swinging the 40 this time, Joey."

Kewl: "Exactly. You know, that was probably Cross' beer anyways."

Cross follows after Johnny who is making a B-line for the parking lot, looking to leave the property all together. Cross follows after, and soon enough they're out in the parking lot. Legend runs for his car, which appears to be a Chevy Aveo. Johnny gives the camera a look.

Legend: "It's a rental!"

Legend grabs his keys, which were in a spot where he could reach them easily. This was probably plan "b". He fumbles for the key to the door, and soon enough Cross is behind him. Before Johnny could react his face is slammed through the glass. Cross pulls Legend out of the car.

Cross: "Looks like you're not getting the deposit back on it."

Cross looks like he's going to powerslam him into the Aveo's hood, but Legend slips out somehow AGAIN. Legend dashes away from Cross, hops up onto another car, and leaps towards this concrete wall. Legend climbs to the top, and starts to do a little balancing act trying to get away from Cross. Cross hops up onto the car Legend used, and easily hops up onto the concrete wall. He follows after Johnny who comes to a dead-end. Legend looks back at Cross, and acts as if this is do or die. He rushes towards Cross, and gets the biggest and stiffest right haymaker you will ever see in your life. Legend starts to fall off the wall, but Cross catches him. He sets him up in a vertebreaker postion.

Kenni: "DON'T DO IT CROSS, DON'T DO IT!"

Kewl: "OH PLEASE, CROSS! DESTROY THIS GUY!"

Within in a second Cross jumps off the concrete wall with Johnny hanging there upside down. It seems like fifteen minutes pass before an impact happens, and when it does...

BAM! SMASH! BOOM!

Cross sends Legend through the roof of Ryan Cain's Jeep Wrangler with the Shadows Fall, making the roof collapse, and all the windows in the car explode. Cross looks a little shaky, but he stands up out of the wreck. We get up close to see Johnny screaming in pain, holding his neck. Cross slams JL head first through what was elft of the windshield and pushes him out onto the hood as he crawls out on top of Johnny rolling him face down. Cross wraps his arm up, and cinches in the Crucification. Johnny yells out in pain, and raises his hand as a ref appears out of the blue.

Kewl: "Is Johnny gonna tap?"

Kenni: "No! Cross is weak!"

Soon enough Johnny is tapping onto the hood of the busted up Wrangler, and the ref basically pries Cross off of Legend after he declares him the winner. Well at least he tries to pry him off, soon after Cross hops off the hood, and just walks away.

Cross: "Ryan's gonna be pissed about that."

"Edgecrusher" is playing back in the arena as Binkle announces Cross as the winner of the match. After that we fade backstage.