I NEED TO GET LAID SPELL
Take one TBSP of each of the following: hyssop, lavender and rose petals.
Mix it all together and grind it lightly with a mortar and pestle.
Put the herbal mixture in a red mojo bag and add 1 TBSP sea salt.
Tie 7 knots with the string of the bag to bind the mixture.
Then draw a bath and throw the mojo bag into the water.
Light a red figure candle, dressed with Freya oil and say:
"Oh Mighty Freya, Goddess of love,
lend me your powers of sex from above.
Take these herbs and bless them well,
and make my naughty bits get wet or swell (depending if you are a female or male).
As I take this bath to get me some,
bring forth the one who will make me come!"