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I didn't give you advice, I gave you a suggestion, which is what you asked for (learn to cope with it and learn more about yourself.) In this place we give AND get, not one or the other. Another thing you could learn is to come in here with an open mind. I read the other replies and I can't see anywhere where anybody here has "attacked" you, as Jaide is fond of saying, but at the same time most of us here are like you say you are, straight forward and telling it like it is. If you want answers like Jaide's, then you are in the wrong place, if you, however, want honesty, you'll get more than your share. Take care. |
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Way to go Tiff! I never asked for a suggestion Thermal, I was only stating I miss my friend. Guess I should of left the part out that we broke up a few times in 6 years or more. It had nothing to do with it. All I was saying is, I won't bother asking for advice here being it looksas though people here can be vicious. I was bored when I joined maybe! By theway, my EX wants me back, but I'm not taking him back even though I miss his friendship. |
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"If anyone has anything they can suggest I would appreciate it." Yes, Yoop, you DID ask for suggestions. |
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On again Off again...........was it because he was abusive or you are spoiled? Or maybe you are the abusive one ? There are many reasons why there are on again off again relationships. Some are abusive and the abused person has a hard time (male or female) leaving, fear of being alone. Then there are those that have that one person that wants things his/her way, so they leave thinking that's going to change things. Doesn't work, either you're there or you're not. people don't change like that and limbo isn't a good place to be, and it will never be. Decide if what you have now is what you want forever, if it's not then don't come back. No one is going to change, not her and not him. If there is any kind of abuse, on his part or her part then there's no question. You think that you're life will never be different, you think you can't live without someone in your life. That fear is what's keeping you from having a better life. I know, I was there, and I'll be the first to tell you, no matter who you are, you can make a life for you or you and your children, yourself. Don't be fooled in thinking you have to have a mate to survive. Get angry ! Get some guts! Don't put your children through hell because you have no faith in yourself. I guess I'm just very passionate about this because I've lived it. Do what's best for you, use your BRAIN to decide, not your heart. |
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tld2cool1 asked... "If anyone has anything they can suggest I would appreciate it." Not Yoop! After the harsh coments tld2coo1 got, I said I would be affraid to ask for advice & didn't. Was just conveying I know how it can feel, I've been in an off & on again but mostly on. Not even sure you would call it an on again off again. Thanks for the advice I never asked for ThermalMan! Sounds like you have something to be bitter about. |
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Please accept my apologies, Yoop. I got the names (and the threads) mixed up. |
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Let me add this, too... I think this is where a good sense of self-esteem and pride come in. Even though you may love someone, there are times you just have to admit that the relationship isn't giving you what you need or want, and turn and walk away. You have to be determined not to settle for second best. The longer you are in a relationship, though, the harder it is to move on. Familiarity is good to a point, but don't let it make you afraid to move on. Like I said, we've all been there and this comes up time and time again. We all learn from it and time really does make it easier to deal with. Just hang in there and don't give up! You can do it and you are worth it! |
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Apologie accepted Thermal.. That is great advice Sassy & the kind like like to read... It's exactly how I'm feeling these days & hope tld2cool1 can feel the same way!! Wondering why going out & meeting new people isn't an option for you tld2cool1??? |
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It is hard to stop loving someone and I know the hurt and sadness you are feeling as you try to pick yourself up and start living again after so much uncertaincy. Some time has passed since you posted this message and I hope you are feeling a little stronger now. You are right - you DO deserve better than what you had. One day, you will find someone worthy of your love. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, cry if you need to but then pick yourself up and look forward to what God has in store for you. Blessings on you , cassie x |
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............... the more obvious it is why it's never a good idea to have sex with anyone you aren't already engaged or married to.* Sassy. I know numerous couples who have been together but are not married or engaged and have and are still having a good relationship. I also know some single people who are friends but when the urge is mutual they have sex. Friends with benefits. If this works then who are we to say they should or shouldn't. Cool, It all depends what you think you deserve better. Is it because your friends have a better relationship? Easy to make that kind of statement. You partner might be ok but your standards might be high. |
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It works for some, Hal, but that still doesn't make it a good idea. Yes, some relationships make it and do fine, but for the ones which don't, well, people have to realize that letting go is so much harder when there has been so much intimacy between them. And yes, everyone has his/her own opinion. That happens to be mine based on experience and what I have learned from friends/acquaintances. |
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Thank you all for the advice. It has been some time since I wrote that and I have been doing better. I guess time helps? lol The relationship I had with that man was way more then sex. I do know the difference between love and sex, plus the differece of infatuation and love. After some tears and time I realized it was all the things that him and I did together that I missed like crazy. Still do actually, but it doesn't hurt anymore. =) |
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Awww, sorry to hear that but glad you are doing better. Sometimes, just loving someone isn't enough. Sometimes they just don't love us in return. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us. Hang in there! |
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