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| | From:  tld2cool1 (Original Message) | Sent: 6/18/2008 6:50 AM |
I have talked with a few people about this and thought it would be nice to hear what you all think too.
We met when we were still kids in late 1991. We clicked right away with each other. Since then we have been in and out of each others lives. There was a time that we didn't see each other for almost 7 yrs. When we finally did get together after that long time in between we connected again instantly. Since that point we see each other in one of those on again off again type things. It seems as though we have a deep understanding for each other that we both admitted that we can't find in anyone else.
Anyway, there was a point that all that back in forth stuff bothered me, but for the past couple of years I've just accepted "It is what it is". I have noticed that no matter what happens my feelings for him haven't changed since 1991. I have been in other relationships but any love I feel for anyone else doesn't even come close.
Is it possible to be in love with someone all your life but not actually be with them?
(sorry i haven't posted in awhile) |
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Tldcool,
Not going to try to solve your question.
One big thing I learned in therapy is the mind will play tricks on you all the time. It's easy to remember the good times and love shared but in reality there must be a reason things are the way they are. God knows that I don't remember all the bad times as well as I remember the great times.
You really need to sit down with him and just have a talk to understand why things are the way they are...
ImJust
P.S. this is my last coherent thought for tonight!!! |
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Tldcool, I would say yes. You both must and an understanding that you are very good friends and possibly with "benefits" and a love for one another. I'm sure there are going to be those that slam your relationship with him. If your both happy with the way things are why spoil it. Do what your heart tells you. |
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I think that the answer is yes...it is possible to love a special person for always...even after long gaps, the connection will always be there...and this is even if you are not able to be together..Something just seems to stay in your heart and you cannot make it go away even if you try... BGE |
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Hi Tld, In order for us to answer the question correctly, we need to know a few basics, like: a) Why do you only see each other so infrequently, if admittedly you do have "the connection?" b) Why does it have to be "it is what it is?" Is there a "it is what it shouldn't be?" c) You have the feelings for him, but is this a reciprocal situation or a question of opportunity (for him?) As for your question, yes, one can be in love with someone without actually living with someone. Emotions have no boundaries. |
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Yes, absolutely. Aj and I met back in '86 and were engaged to be married in '90. It didn't happen due to the distance and no other reason (he was in the Navy in California; I was here in Arkansas). It scared me. It's easy to get along with someone you only spend a weekend every month (if that) with. So, we didn't really break up, but we did slow it down and eventually wandered in opposite directions. In the back of my mind I always wondered what might have been..........and come to find out he did, too. As most peeps here know, we were married this past January. So, yes, absolutely, it can happen. But it is also true, as someone stated, that your mind can play tricks on you and you only see what you want to see, so be very careful. Good luck! |
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To answer the questions presented:
a) Simply put without going into intimate details: Life can be hard and choices are made that lead us in different directions. Oddly as this may sound, we both respect each other in those decisions and is not one sided. We always end up seeing each other at some point... it's something we both know it will happen.
b)"It is what it is." A phrase that him and I came up with to "why we always end up being together again". The best way I
can describe it is like accepting it as the way it will always be. Gravity pulls us towards the center of the earth and so our connection pulls us towards each other. Fact is fact kind of acceptance.
c)It is no more or less an opportunity for either of us. We both have talked about the love we have for each other. It's not like any other kind... well, as I stated in my post.
I hope that this clears any questions you have.
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Yes... I have a "friend" of whom I have had for several years.. since High School to be exact. We were together through H.S. and decided to stop things when he enlisted in the military. I could not do the long distance thing. We were both completely in love with each other. But I could not live with the uncertainty of the military and I was too young to get married. We kept in contact over the years sporatically, both knowing what the other was thinking. He is now married. As am I. We do have feelings for each other, connect on a very deep level, but we have made our lives and love our spouses as well. I have my songs and things that remind me of this person every day, as he does me. and we share an occassional email. But that is that.. I hope that helps.. if not I am sorry.. :) |
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