I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

 

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

 

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

 

"Oh no, and I don't do drugs, either."

 

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecue ribs?"

 

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy."

 

"Do you spend  a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, biking or bicycling?"

 

"No, I don't, " I said.

 

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars and have a lot of sex?"

 

"No," I said.

 

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a sh*t?"