Desolation, nothing but blankness
I look around for something to grasp
something to hold, I see them all
they are all around, they move, they never stop
like some endless sea but the tide never goes out
they talk, they speak, they strike
they try to hurt to further themselves
I feel alone in the crowd, in the current
I feel swamped by hatred, by loneliness
I walk on begin to run try to find someone
yet I find no one, I search frantic to find
they grasp they strike they do all they can to tear me down
yet I run farther on faster and faster I must get away I must get out
then nothing then no one and I am alone
I am as I started and as I am destined to end
I trudge on I trudge on through desolation only to go back�?BR>only to go on back to loneliness only back to sadness











I stand there waiting for the dawn of a new day
I stand and I wait as I have for years before
I wait for the color and light from a new day to bring me happiness once more
yet it is not to be all I see is darkness
the sun rises on yet another day of torture another day of malice
I look around and I see others that bask in the light
those fools they take what they have for granted
I wish now I would have never stepped in to this accursed night
I wish now I would’ve never taken the first step on that flight
hatred, malice, and un-forgiveness are common place they are the stepping stones
I see them hear them and receive them as I trudge
I see others wonder in and out of the darkness as if it were nothing
yet it is something
for it is something  I can not escape
I can not get out they seem immune to one another’s hatred
the venom they spit with each word
it sears it burns it affects me unlike everyone
I see them move free
I can  not be free I can not leave I can not be in the light

I came hoping to learn the reason why
the reason why I must be slated to die alone
the anger the rage at the fates unseen
the seemingly unchangeable fates that conspire against me
conspire to  cause my lonely life and death and suffering in-between

What must I do to have what others so seemingly free
what must I do to get this happiness why must you conspire against me?
the bitter tears of  fury at those who trod upon me for there own success
who are they to say I cant fight back with vengeance unbenounced to all
even the fates will one day fall even one day there schemes must one day fail
that one day I will truly be happy for then I will have my vengeance





There is someone you know someone not of the mindless drone
someone who cares for you more then those clones
you care back yet you are so far apart
it as though fates conspires to tear u afar
u talk yell wish it wernt yet others come between you
others become her love others make her forget
u are alone again was It truly better to love and lost
then to not love at all
this pain this emptiness Is all I have to remember
I know she will not be back
I know it will never be like it was before
I know the memories will haunt me forever
my pain will never leave and the void will never lighten again
I tell you now the pain, the void, the emptiness is ones only friend
there are no others

there are no others



lies, pain, and tears
the color washes away as my fears come true
your lies your deceits the come bubbling to the surface
only to late I see the cauldron of hate
I ask you why
why did you do this to me
why did you want to hurt me
why do you not feel the pain
lies, pain, and tears
I sit and weep while you laugh and smile
I wonder why are you immune
why do I sit alone while you commune
why do you not care about the feelings we used to share
why do you go on laughing
I had done nothing wrong

why does the pain go so deep why do the tears cease to creep







I sit as though part of the wall
you walk by you don’t care
why must I watch you all
why must the torture always continue
alone I sit bothered by some ignored by most friends of none
I weep as the void increases as my heart ceases
the darkness swells and swirls
the pain and anger pulsing from within
I have lost myself will I ever be found again
I sit as though part of the wall�?BR>I sit and I watch you all�?

Lies deception
is it all in ones perception
I tried to protect tried to defend
why did it all crumble in the end
no one cared no one tried to help
I wanted you to be happy I wanted us to be together
they watched they plotted
the claws came out I could do nothing
I watched us fall I watched us torn asunder
I Watched your tears as you screamed and yelled
you thought it was me
but all I wanted was to protect was to defend
but I was useless in the end

Life moves on weather you come or not
The winds of change bring more then happiness
they bring pain and suffering
they bring regrets for the past dues unable to pay
Regrets for the decisions made
for the thoughts and feelings that you betrayed
for the fact of passing the point of no return
they bring about the pint were you are alone
they bring about the darkest times of ones life
sometimes never to shift away from again
the time for tears comes and goes
bone weary times seem to grow
you plod on through life trying everything
running from fears from hurts and pains
never to escape they always catch up to drag you deeper in to the muck
to drag you deeper in to despair deeper down were the winds of change can not affect you
where the winds of change can not save you.
down to wear nothing but yourself can�?/P>

My heart walled up and the key thrown
The harpy that love once condoned
Ripped to shreds and let it to die
picked up the pieces and built walls so high
An angel from the past came to see me once more
Found the key and unlocked my hearts door
Once more I bask in the love of someone truly radiant
Hopefully forever more together we will be       
Hopefully forever our love will last
Until one day we can look back in to the past
Back and see when my angel came back to me

Yesterday pain unending
As was the day before
Woe to the death of compassion of love that I did hold
Inisde I scream inside I scream
It echos forever may it echo on to eternity
Outside I am required to be calm
Outside the hole in my heart must now cause a ripple
I smile I laugh no one can see
I wonder how far this farce will really carry me
Will I even remember what once I was
Will I even remember where this pain within came from
Or forevermore will I only hear the echos                 
Will I watch from behind walls of my own making
Or will I brake free
You may know for one day you may see me mad and broken
For that is how I am inside yet you yourself�?BR>You never did see

I give my heart away at someone feet I lay it
At first I thought they cared at first I thought they understood
Yet alone I stood in the end
Alone I stand now alone without any end
Any end to suffering no end to the sense of betrayal
You in the end stamped my heart and dashed it upon rocks as if it were nothing
As if it were garbage that no one cares about
I have realized as time goes on as pieces of my heart I still pick up that no one does
That no one stops to help move pickup no one gives a glance
No glances toward were they may be
No one glances toward the death of one only the many is what they concern
I sit and weep for what has been lost
I weep for what can never be found
For as we rush as we move on
Humanity within us all shrink and it power wanes
Soon no more shall one think of stopping at the side no one shall think
Think of helping those who have the emotional need
I stand and watch as away with the tides of time my humanity flys

<o:p> </o:p>