#9  Naughty, disruptive students have to stay after and clap chalkboard erasers -- on her bare ass.

#8  Her assistant, Miss Phluffer, is always handing her a fresh pointer.

#7  Assigned reading list includes "A Sale of Two Titties" and "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream."

#6  Her social studies lesson on Triangular Trade involves real rum and molasses, and has been downloaded over 6 million times on YouTube.

#5  *No one* falls asleep during her audio-visual presentations.

#4  "Today's economics lesson will focus on principle of Opportunity Cost as applied to the charges incurred by pool cleaners, gardeners and pizza delivery boys."

#3  Standing room only at her cafeteria table on "corn dog and kielbasa day."

#2  She starts class every single day by whipping off her glasses, shaking her hair out of a bun, and bursting the top button on her blouse.