Dear sweet Tammy ,
It sounds to me like you do really know what you want to do ,Or should I say , you know what you have to do before you can have your own life back again .
AS you say HE does want the best of both worlds , he wants his cake and eat it . He says he's Going through a selfish Phase!!!!!!!!!
He got upset ,probably because he now knows you are that much stronger and will not play his mind games any more, and that your becoming your own person ...
Sorry but has he ever been anything but selfish ?
This is Just my opinion Tammy and from my own experiences....
Tammy it is so hard going through a divorce .When all the dirty laundry comes out and this and that gets said and things that hurt .CHildren are used like pawns in a game of chess.
Solicitors/lawyers have a way of making things drag on at times as well , by sending letters to and fro each others ,with the He said she said he did ,he wants and she wants ,etc etc .I think you know what I mean .......
This can make it even more painful mentally for you and him ,while the lawyers sit back and get the extra cash for doing it to you .
You do have your children to consider in all this Tammy as you well know .
For that reason , you do have to be seen to making some kind of effort to stay on an agreeable terms with him .
The children will soon realise whats what, and who really loves and REALLY CAres for them. and looks out for them and who is always there for them when they need a hug or tending when they have a scrape etc. they are a lot more knowing than we give them credit for sometimes..
He is moving on and seems to be doing what he wants Tammy .
You are a lot stronger now than you were a year ago ,while it still hurts you to think about things and to still feel the way you do . You know you have to be strong and move on .OK you also know that he will always be able to hurt you ,especially when it comes to the children .
He will break a promise or not keep to a time to take them out .
The Chances are his visits may get fewer and longer times between .
Yes it is easy for me to give my opinions sitting here at my computer .
But I have always been honest about what I say.I do feel for you and YES I know what your going through as well. I have been there Tammy .
I know how much it hurts, how degrading they make you feel ,how they can blame you and say ITS all your fault . I promise you Tammy It does get better ,it does hurt less. DO NOT blame yourself you did the best you could and you know it as well .Stop playing his mind games.
Now is the time for you to move on and Let the new chapter in your book of life start now.The NEW Tammy ......
A Stronger and wiser ,deserving to be respected and considered Tammy . You give so much of your life to others Tammy , its about time you got some back . Good luck when you go to town on MOnday .I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care and God Bless you and your children Tammy .
Hugs Jan {Aunty J}
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First 
I am so sorry sweetie you are in so much sadness and grief and believe me I know the pain.
If it helps scream out and shout to the Heavens and creid out to God for I did. It hurts so much and you feel at times like how and why is all of this happening. You feel like going to sleep and forgetting it all and wake up and hope this is all just a dream and your days of being happy with Randy will come back. I was with my ex-hubby for 34 years when our divorce was final. I know myself there is no pain like the pain of divorce and death. To me my divorce was like a death and I greived for so long. All I can say Tammy is tell you what helped me to get on with my life because I really did not want to live anymore without my ex-hubby.
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