Hello Dafferdill,
What an embarrasing time you have been having with other half.
I am so sorry that I do not know very much about you as I was not on line very much when you joined the group..
What I do know about you is that your a lovely woman who deserves respect and kindness. It does'nt Matter what you look like, small or big fat thin . You have a heart, and a brain , you have kind thoughts and loving feelings. You are a beautiful lady Inside and Out .. You need to LOVE Yourself and be kind to yourself .YOU DO Deserve that ,and much more...
You have said you do not know which way to turn, I am not at all surprised .
You sound like your living with Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde.
Who has been manipulating you and playing nasty evil games with your mind , because you will not let him be violent towards you.
"It IS NEVER His fault it is always yours".
In all honesty I am very surprised that you are still living with such a monster.
If you do REALLY Love this man and he DOES want help as Tammy has suggested then you could work down that route.
I strongly suspect that he does think its all your fault and its just your imagination working overtime ,you think he said all those horrible things ,its you losing your mind .
He gets mad if you bring it up in conversation,yet its OK for him to abuse you and embarass you in public .
Its like he never said it or it was his drugged half saying those things to you .
You hate drug and alchol abuse,you stopped him being Physically Violent towards you Dafferdill right off .Yet now he is being Verbally abuusive to you instead.
In my Book that can be as bad as violence. He is playing with your mind by making you think you are inferior that your nothing ,that your worthless. You can see and you do know what he is doing as well .
You already told him GO get Gone. He maybe knows that nobody else would tolerate him and his evil ways and habits,which is why he came and found you after the Walmart episode..
Do YOU REally want this to continue ??? I know that you don't .
You could suggest he gets help and offer to stand by him IF he gets or even wants help with his drug abuse and anger management. If you are prepared to go through all that .
I have read and reread your post ,
I feel that you do already know what you have to do .I think that in your heart of hearts you have made your decision and are afraid of how to make it better.
I may be wrong for saying what I am about to but feel it needs to be said .
There are many women who have spent a lifetime with a man who is either mentally abusve or physically abusive .
Who did find that there is a happier life out there .
You have been with him just over 3 years of which the past 18 months have been bad. You DID notice this before but wanted to not see it at the time .It is his part of his game..
This is as long as a lifetime when its your suffering .
Please do something while you are strong enough to, and before you get even more confused and then will not be able to do anything about it .
We are not councellors here Dafferdill ,we are women who like yourself have been at sometime in our lives ; or for some , are still going through the same as you are .
We cannot tell you what to do .
(Mind ,I Know what I would do ,but I am not you .LOL)
What we can do is be here to listen to hear what you are saying .To comfort and give you the virtual hugs when they are needed. we can make suggestions and give you advice .We can pray for you .
There may be Someone here, if we know what area you are in, possibly be able to find you a safe place to go or to get help.
PLASE Be kind to yourself ,Love yourself .
Sending you BIG HUGS
God Bless you sweet lady and stay safe ....
Hugs Aunty J (Jan)
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