Hello Patti Jo,
I am sorry I did not reply to your post before now .
I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it all . It is so sad that you have had so much abuse in your life. It sounds very much like you are being hit with everything at once and it can be so hard to know how to deal with it .
We are here to listen and comfort you and to pray for you.
It does sound like you know what your triggers are .So Hopefully you can get them under control without the need to be hospitalised .
If your Mother has only recently started to contact you after all this time, and you are not sure whether to trust her. It must be so hard for you when you know that she did'nt trust and believe you.
You say, this is a bad time of year for you. Maybe you could tell her in an email ,that you need more time to think about things.
So that you could give yourself some time and space to make any decisions as to whether You want to make contact again OR If you need to .
Then you need to just take one day at a time.You Know your NOT Crazy.Stay strong my friend .
It is so true when they say You can choose your friends but not your relatives.
I will keep you in my prayers .
God Bless you and take care .
HUGS Aunty J
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Thinking of you hun and sending prayers