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| | From:  Tammyg516 (Original Message) | Sent: 9/1/2008 5:07 PM |
I wasn't going to say anything but I need to vent  Two weeks ago (friday) I called Randy and asked him for some money. He in turned proceeded to tell me how I don't contribute any thing when it comes to our kids and how I keep our kids from their father. I told him that he knows school is starting in three days and he has not even asked what do they need, do you have food in the house,etc. He said well, I get them a few things. Monday he called to ask me their sizes and tuesday he brought their things. Kailey asked me"mommy what if we don't like it or they don't fit?" I told her that he would have to take them back. Only two days before this he was really trying his best to have sex with me.  Last night I went to a fair with my mother,aunt and cousin, later Zak(my son) showed up. I was really glad I got to spend time with him. I ran into a lady I used to be friends with when Randy and I first got together. We talked for a few and then she asked if we were still together.......I told her no and how we've been seperated for the past three years but I finally put an end to it a few months ago. She said "Good, he was abusive to you". I was shocked and I must have had a look on my face b/c she then said "Tammy, we all knew".  I guess that just made me feel like an even bigger fool b/c every one seen it but me . The past few days, I've had at least two women that I know come up to me and run their hand across my cheek and grab my face. Telling me how beautiful I am, they're glad to be my friend, etc. ( I keep hearing from ppl, how I haven't changed) I know it's silly and I shouldn't have felt the way that I did but .......... ummmm, I can walk up to someone and hug them or shake their hand, my kids can even tell you that I don't like to be touched or hung on. Randy even used to complain b/c I didn't sit by him enough, etc. (make sense?). There's more and I'm sorry that I rambled. I know this seems trivial but I'm having a difficult time getting past the way I feel and some of the images in my mind. Thanks for listening/reading this. Hugs~T |
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Tammy, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Its not trival at all. You can vent anytime you need to. And, please email me if you need to "talk" I'm here for you. And, I care about you. Take care sweetie. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. love and hugs, Patti Jo |
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Thank you PattiJo I do really good most days but I guess I'm just having a hard time b/c I know the only reason Zak treated me like that last night is for Randy, and he will go back and tell Randy every thing. The one friend that touched my face like that, I've known for years and when we were younger(early 20's) her and her bf tried to get me to have a 3 way with them. I had to go to my neighbor's (a friend) and her husband went to my apt. and found them naked on my living room floor going at it waiting for me to come back. He was a big man and scared the crap out of them and made them leave. We didn't talk for awhile but when we talked again nothing was ever said. I know I don't give alot of detail either and most of the time I don't make sense but................. |
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| | | From: AuntyJ9 | Sent: 9/1/2008 8:26 PM |
Dear sweet Tammy,Why should you not vent .? Your allowed to here .This as you well know is one place where you can come and feel safe ,to let of steam or vent. Cuss in symbols as well if you want to . You have not had an easy time at all . Some men can be so selfish and inconsiderate. It was so wrong of your son to speak to you like he did. It is such a shame to think that as you say his girlfriend /wife will have a lot to put up with . Don't you start blaming yourself for it either. IT IS NOT your fault. You do make a lot of sense and as you well know it does us good to get things out and written down sometimes . I am glad that your family is giving you some support with the things that are happening. God Bless you Tammy you are in my prayers .Sending you Virtual Hugs. Gentle ones .. HugsAunty J (Jan) |
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