crying in silence #2

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Hi all I am new here . I thought I would start by saying I am IN a relationship that I was told was verbally abusive. I did not believ it until yesterday!! My hubby has not only told me I am a bad mom but a bad housewife and a bad person hygenically!! All in the past 3 days. He apologized AGAIN and I am not taking it this time. I am in such disbelief that I am at a loss for words. I have been called names and told to change or he is leaving. Then LEAVE!!!!! He won't leave he uses it to make me change. I can not change any more to suit his needs. He takes rounds out of me verbally just for stateing my case in defense of myself. I am not allowed to BARK back or oppose anything he says. He said it himself today!! I have tried to but it just makes things worse. He has for the first time in 11 years of marriage scared me. He has not ever raised a hand at me but he got into my face NOSE TO NOSE (not kidding) and told me to chang my S!$% woman or he is leaving and to make a decision NOW!! I just simply asked him to PLEASE get out of my face 5 times, he said NO!! so I just closed my eyes and turned around to care for our son. He left after waiting a minute or 5 !! I can not take this any more. I have allready had a nervous breakdown because of him and I feel like another is coming. I am ONLY 33 years old this is supposed to be a Godly marriage!! We both are born again Christians too!!!!!!! I live my life for the Lord and try to eminate Jesus in me at all times. I forgive and forgive just like Jesus says and I STILL get treated like junk!! Why is he sooo MEAN to me???? HELP PLEASE!!!! Courtney

first honey let me welcome you the Good Lord did not make woman to be abused.I do not know or understand why men feel the need to act this way.will keep you both in my prayers. God is the only one who can change him.he needs to change not you and God can change the hardest heart. you will find love and support in oour group here.

Courtney, You are not alone Hun! I am also going thru the verbal, mental and emotional abuse. I wish I knew just what to say to help you and make things better for you. I am so glad that you kept your calm. So many times I tried to defend or explain myself and it just made things worse. We have been seperated almost 3 years but you would never know it. Right before we seperated my husband got so angry at me, he was coming towards me but ended up beating the basement door. I am so sorry that I don't know the right things to say because I am still learning how to deal with everything myself. If you ever need me hun, I will always be here for you. Hugs ~Tammy

First of all welcome to the group.

I tried to reply to your post here yesterday ,I thought I had .MSN must have chewed it up ,I am sorry for my late reply.

It is wondeful that you stayed so calm when He was in your face,It is a good way to be .It doesnt pay to get all heated up ,can just make matters worse then .

Why should you be the one to change ?you have been together 11 years or more and he does't want what he has .

You do not deserve to be abused in this way ..You are a loving and caring mother and wife .Who deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.

How many times can you forgive his rudeness and abuse. You will reach point hen you will have to say "NO MORE". I do hope you do not get too depressed nd ill over all this .

God Bless you nd your son ,keep safe and Happy for your son .

Here's a healing angel to look after you. No woman deserves to be treated badly like you have. You were very brave and that sounds good. Take care and stay safe, leave if you have to , to a public building, police or women's shelter...you can and will find help and we are here for you too, hugs, kat

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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