There have been recent studies done showing a correlation between victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse and eating disorders. However, it is hard to give exact numbers or estimates because so many abuse cases go unreported. Victims of abuse find comfort and safety in their eating disorders, whether it is anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating. By using or denying themselves food, they are able to repress or block out the painful memories of the abuse and in a way, numb out the feelings and emotions that come along with the experience. A common question that is asked is, "why do these cases not get reported?" Many victims think that they are somehow at fault for the abuse, that they either caused it by doing or saying something wrong; when in reality they did nothing wrong. Those abused, keep this secret to themselves for a very long time, sometimes they go forever without ever confiding in anyone about it. This is where an eating disorder comes into play. If they focus all their attention onto food and their weight, no one will pressure them to talk about anything else. They have developed a mask or façade for the abuse, by developing an eating disorder. By no means, am I saying that any of this is done on a conscious level. Many bulimics and compulsive eaters claim that bingeing is their way of symbolically stuffing down the emotions they feel. The comfort and security that comes from the binging in only temporary which is why they may resort to more binging and forms of purging. Food acts as a constant in their life, it is always there; never judging their actions, will never abandon them or leave them feeling worthless like the abusers in their life. Sometimes an eating disorder will become a way that will make them unattractive by appearing either too thin or obese; they will hope to become "ugly" to the abuser which in turn will make the abuse stop. This passive aggressive approach never works; all it does is make the victim more physically weak all the while the abuse continues. Some victims of abuse believe that if they can become thin enough, they will eventually disappear and die. A person who is abused feels a loss of control, an eating disorder helps them regain some of that control, what they don't realize is that the eating disorder is taking the control away from them, not the other way around. Purging is another way for abuse victims to release their emotions. If they believe they cannot tell anyone about the abuse and express the emotions they are experiencing, purging may be the only way they know how to get those feelings out. Many feel relieved and calm after purging, but it is only temporary and that is why the cycle continues. When people who have repressed or blocked out their memories for a long time actually start to regain some of those old memories back, they experience a wide range of emotions and responses to the abuse. Almost as if the abuse is being relived, which is why so many victims struggle with their eating disorders for such a long time, in order to not remember or feel the pain - some of them include, depression, flashbacks, uncontrollable crying, panic or anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, obsessive compulsive behaviors, guilt, shame, denial, anger and problems with their relationships. As mentioned before, dealing with the memories of abuse can be as traumatizing as the abuse itself. The memories can be very overwhelming and make you feel as if you are going crazy or even want to die to kill off the pain. At this point many will isolate themselves in order to not talk about it. This is a crucial time, where if you are experiencing these feelings, you need to reach out for help. There are numerous options out there, many different people out there willing to help, especially if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or are suicidal. A trusted family member, close friend or neighbor, a priest/minister, anyone you trust - reach out. It is very scary to reach out when you are at a point like this, perhaps you feel as if no one understands what you are feeling, or you reached a point where you do not feel deserving or worthy of help. Well, you are worth help and you do deserve the attention of others. It is a difficult step to trust someone enough to open up about being abused; but it is very worth it in the end. There is nothing more courageous than coming forward and admitting it and asking for help. Perhaps you may feel weak or needy, when in reality - it shows your inner strength. Victims of abuse have reported feeling very much empowered by coming forward and admitting the abuse to someone - it gave them a true sense of control - the abuser no longer can win if you confide in someone. The secret is out, and you no longer have to be under the abusers power. It is better to have someone to talk to and help your through it, rather than having to experience the feelings, emotions and pain all alone. Having someone to turn to and support you will help you feel less alone and make the difficult times a little easier to get through. You can overcome this. Trusting someone is very scary especially after you have been violated, but it is worth it, you are worth it. |
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