Twelve Pains of Christmas - Chorus :
- The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Is finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Inebreated man (3): Hangovers,
- 2: Rigging up the lights,
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
- 3: Hangovers,
- 2: Rigging up the lights,
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Five months of bills,
- 4: Sending Christmas cards,
- 3: Hangovers,
- 2: Rigging up the lights,
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
- 3: Hangovers,
- 2: Rigging up these lights,
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,
- 6: Facing my in-laws,
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Sending Christmas cards,
- 3: Oh, Jeez!
- 2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Loud kid (8): I WANNA FURBY FOR CHRISTMAS!
- 7: Charities And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Oh, making out these cards,
- 3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
- 2: What we have no extension cords?!?
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,
- 8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
- 7: Donations!
- 6: Facing my in-laws,
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
- 3: Hangovers,
- 2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- other (10): "Batteries not included",
- 9: No parking spaces,
- 8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
- 7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
- 6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
- 3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
- 2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,
- 10: "Batteries not included",
- 9: No parking spaces,
- 8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
- 7: Charities!!
- 6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
- 3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
- 2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
- .
- The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
- A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,
- 11: Stale TV specials,
- 10: "Batteries not included",
- 9: No parking?
- 8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
- 7: Charities!
- 6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
- C: Five months of bills,
- 4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
- 3: Shut up, you!
- 2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
- C: And finding a Christmas tree.
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