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Can't get into the house? Don't worry! There's always the spare key under the welcome mat. Any kind of music in a club, at a dance, etc, always has a backbeat but no words. Vegetables are always being chopped in the kitchen, but no one ever has the time to eat dinner. Makeup in movies is mixed with a secret sticking solution, so it is incapable of becoming smudged or being rubbed off unless streaming mascara is needed for dramatic impact. Black leather clothing is necessary to wield high-powered automatic weapons. When two or more people are having a phone conversation, it is never terminated with a "goodbye", they always just hang up after getting to the point. Whenever the hero or heroine is injured, it will always be a member of the opposite sex who treats their wounds, especially if the man is the wounded one. Villans will always explain their plan, in its entirety, to the hero before leaving him in an easily escapable situation with an incredibly incompetentguard, or no guard at all. When the distressed hero goes to drown his spirits at the bar, he'll say to the bartender, "Leave the bottle," and the bartender does, no questions asked. In movies and television, Crime Scene Investigators don't just do the forensics, they question suspects and solve entire crimes FOR the DA. Talking to someone in a coma will bring them out if it. When the hero is taking on a barrage of the villian's henchmen, they will attack him one at a time. If a man is dressed up as a woman, no matter how ugly of a woman he is, some guy will hit on him. Cheerleaders wear their uniforms to school and they all sit at the same table. A villain can hotwire any car in a matter of seconds. Bullies always wear leather jackets and have a mini-gang. Men don't seem to show signs of pain when receiving brutal beatings, but do when women try to clean the wounds. In horror movies the people having sex or stripping are most likely to be the ones murdered next. There will be a typical american family. mother prepares breakfast. the child is sat at the table. father will enter and he is late for work with his shirt wrongly buttoned up and his tie not properly tied. he will kiss his wife on the cheek and will grab a slice of toast before rushing out the door with it. All archers never run out of arrows The person with special powers never seems to use them for anything fun or practical. Lasers are visible in space. When a laser misses in space, it ends abruptly instead of continuing to go through space until it hits something else. After a ship blows up its debris scatter, but don't damage any other ship despite being large and traveling at high velocities. When spaceships turn suddenly, crew members tend to fall over even though the source of gravity is comming from the floor. All Aliens seem to understand human body language (ex shaking head), despite that even humans sometimes have difficulties comprehending the non-verbal communication when confronted with foreign cultures. Characters can survive in outer space by holding their breath. A group of guys playing cards is always playing poker, drinking beer, and smoking cigars. Scenes taking place at an asylum have crazy people wandering around unsupervised, while some nurse is pushing a catatonic in a wheelchair. People investigating a house where there may be a ghost, murderer, or monster never turn the lights on. All teenage boys have some kind of "do not enter or else" sticker or sign on their bedroom door. Something very very bad always happens when someone says "How bad can it be?" or "Can things get any worse?" While crossing wobbly old rope bridges, the hero will always state “don’t look down.�?Then the female will say, “too late,�?prompting the wooden board she next steps on to break and she falls through, and is left dangling high above a river that’s always full of hungry, man-eating crocodiles. Any teen comedy usually ends with a prom no matter the time of year. If the hero is running, the henchmen's' machine-guns will always give off sparks behind the heroes feet and never actually hit him If there happens to be a high-rise building in an action/disaster film, you can always expect an oblivious Hispanic janitor listening to salsa on his headphones. Millions of deaths each year are preventable, but alas, the one person who can save them has their music up so high that it drowns out all top-of-lung, bloodcurdling screams for help. Be extremely cautious around cremation urns, because somehow it's going to get knocked over. If there is a dangerous man breaking into a house, only the mother and daughter will be home. The mother will then usher the child into a closet and tell her to stay there, and the closet will always have those blinds with little slits in them that the child can look through. The bad man will always approach the closet, but will never look inside before leaving. Whenever a character is sneaking around in a movie set in the Middle Ages or in an Arab country, he always accidentally bumps into a bad guy who calls out “Guards! Guards!�?About 25 guards jump out of nowhere and are carrying huge swords. An alcoholic can always chug down a gallon of whisky without vomiting, getting really drunk, or burning their throat. He’ll chug it down, wince, and go “Aahhh!�?/FONT> If there is about to be a huge disaster like an alien invasion or the world is about to be plunged into a new ice age there will always be a smart character who can see what’s going to happen well before it does, but is ignored and made fun of by everyone until its too late. In a gunfight, the hero can hide behind any object even if it is very thin and no bullets will pass through. In a movie with a Chinese bad guy, the guy ALWAYS hangs out in China Town and his hideout is ALWAYS in a Chinese restaurant. If someone gets punched in the face and it gives off a large *thwack* sound, they usually remain conscious whereas if they are karate chopped in the back of the neck, they will be out cold for hours The hero may get shot in the arm at the very end. If a number of people are knocked out with gas or otherwise, they will all wake up at approximately the same time |
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