BEAMED UP

I WAS ONCE BEAMED UP BY AN ALIEN

AN EXPERIENCE IT CERTAINLY WAS

IT TOOK JUST A COUPLE OF MINUTES

AS WE FLASHED BY ALL OF THE STARS

ON EXACTLY WHICH PLANET WE LANDED

I HONESTLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE

I DARE NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS

LETS FACE IT, WOULD ANY OF YOU

THEIR HANDS WERE MISHAPEN

AND EYES THEY HAD THREE

AND I SWEAR TO THIS DAY

ONE TOOK A FANCY TO ME

I WAS QUITE FLATTERED

I KNOW IT SOUNDS SAD

BUT AS ALIENS GO

THIS ONE WAS'NT TO BAD

YES, HE WAS GREEN AND

HAD A NOSE LIKE A TRUMPET

I STILL HAD THIS FELLING

THAT I WAS HIS BIT CRUMPET

HE SPOKE PERFECT ENGLISH

WHICH WAS TERRIBLY HANDY

AND WHEN WE LEFT THE SPACE SHIP

I ALSO FOUND OUT HE WAS RANDY

HE WHIPPED OUT HIS WOTSIT

AND I STARTED TO SCREAM

AND THEN I AWAKENED

IT HAD ALL BEEN A DREAM