We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are
 in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to
 take this exam:
 
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon
 tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
 
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when
 placed on blocks in your front yard?
 (A) '65 Ford Fairlane
 (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
 (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
 
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a
capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many
 car radiators are required to condense the product?
 
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM.
 The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is
 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average
 tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be
 drunk before the trees are cut down?
 
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
 centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and
 the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch
 rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs
 will be killed?
 
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a
 hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five
 children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home
 on the man's land and still have enough property for their
 electric appliances to sit out front?
 
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards
 down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes
 fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads,
 what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a
 muffler?
 
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how
 long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
 Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
 
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one,
 didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just
 goes to show ya...
 
There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning
 don't prepare ya for in this life.