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| | From:  evelyn_jo02 (Original Message) | Sent: 7/31/2008 11:46 PM |
OMG I am really not having a good day. I went to the doctor today about the spinal fluid on my brain and he said that he is sending me to talk to a surgen but he really does not feel like anything is going to help me and within two years i will be blind from the presure on my brain. I got my medical records from him to take down there and i have read them and now wish that i didnt. that are things in there that he has not told me because he does not want me to stress out well guess what i know about it and i am stressing out now like me being blind within two years it was in the notes he didnt tell me that. I just dont understand. i am only 25 just turned 25 and here i am not able to work and loosing my sight a little every day. i just want it to stop. i told him that i have been really sick throwing up and everything and he told me that is just a side affect and that he wanted to up my meds but was affraid that that would make me sicker so he is not doing that. when i read in the notes it said that i have a tumor but it is banine or yea how ever you spell that but then i wounder how does he know that he has not cut my head open or anything all he has done is CT's MRI's and Xrays how can he tell i dont understand can he tell by just the fluid its self that is all he has done is run test on the fluid. i am so scared my DH is not even here he should be here tomorrow but i am sure i will be better by then i need him now and i have been trying to call him because he told me to call him as soon as i get out and that was 3 hours ago and i finaly got a hold of him and i told him what was said and what i have read and he was like okay. no i am sorry hunny or anything like that i dont know what to do o and then he had to go he is not doing anything but driving this is not like him i dont understand. maybe i shouldnt have told him but then that would have made him upset.........   i am so tired of this..... some days i just want to give up...... i have started crocheting to try to stay busy and keep my mind off of it when i am not doing my school work but it is not helping...... i just want to get away go out with friends and not worry about it but it is like sence i got with my dh all of my friends are to busy to talk or hang out now
any way i am going to go for now thinks for takeing to time to let me vent......
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