Regular Text = Talking out loud
Bold Text= Confessional(nobody else can hear them)

 

*starts out in the mean teams room where the whole team except for Mike, Krystal and Steph is there. They are singing the teams song*

 

All: MIKE JONES!!

 

*music*

 

All: MIKE JONESSSSS!!!

 

*more music*

 

All: MIKE FUCKING JONESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

Brandon: Still tippin on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
Tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
pimpin' fo hoes and packin fo fours

 

Jai: MIKE JONES!

 

Brandon: Still tippin on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
Tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
pimpin' fo hoes and packin fo fours

Zie: MIKE JONES!

 

Brandon: Still tippin on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
Tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
pimpin' fo hoes and packin fo fours

Ryan: MIKE JONES!

 

Brandon: Still tippin on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
Tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
tippin' on four fours, rapped in four Vouges
pimpin' fo hoes and packin fo fours

Jason: MIKE FUCKING JOENS!

 

Ryan: Cut!

 

Jason: What the hell is wrong?

 

Ryan: It's Jones, not Joens

 

Jason: How would you know...its not like you can read what I'm saying!

 

*crickets chirp*

 

Ryan: Jason did you ever learn how to read?

 

*Jason turns red*

 

Zie: Thats okay we're here to help

 

*Stevie pops up*

 

Stevie: Zie he doesnt need help with the type of thing that you specialize at

 

Zie: Shut the fuck up Stevie!

 

*Zie chases Stevie out of the room*

 

Jai: We'll help you learn to read

 

*the group takes Jason to krystal's library*

 

Krystal: Welcome all

 

Ryan: We're trying to teach Jason how to read...anything you would reccomend?

 

Krystal: Ah, he needs help reading

 

*Krystal pulls out "reading for dummies*

 

*Jason gets upset*

 

Brandon: Whoa there johnny...we dont wanna make him feel bad

 

Krystal: Right, Right. I'll find something

 

*Krystal magically makes the book "1 fish 2 fish" appear in her hands*

 

Krystal: Try this

 

Jason: Thanks

 

*Jason opens up the book*

 

Jai: Sound it out

 

Jason: ......w--w--w-uh-uh...wuh...n-n-n....WUHN!

 

Jai: One!

 

Jason: f-f----f....ih---ih--ssssss....ha....FISHA!

 

Jai: Well the s and  h together make a "sh" sound like shout. So its fish!

 

Jason: One fish.....ta wa ohhhh...TAWHO!

 

Jai: Two!

 

Jason: One fish, two FISH!

 

Jai: Good job!!

 

Jason: ra--ra---eh---d! RED!

 

Brandon: Oh shut the hell up! The book sucks! In the end theres a red and a blue fish

 

*Jason puts his head down*

 

Ryan: Way to go moron, you ruined the story!

 

*Somewhere else*

 

*Dave gets a text message*

 

Dave: Ew, Michael is trying to flirt with me. Do you think he is in to the English and nurses?

 

Scott: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say no

 

Dave: *sighs* You Americans

 

Stevie: Well what did the text message say?

 

Dave: *reading* Dave...you suck! I only sent this to you because I was overdue to send someone a sucky text message. This isn't the real one. I just dont like you. Get hit by a truck, love....Michael

 

Dave: What a stupid guy.....Im English dont ya know?

 

*Scott and Stevie leave the room*

 

*Jackie gets a text message*

 

Jackie: Meet by the pool in 47 freakin minutes where there will once again by a very talented special host...if you dont show up in 47 minutes you will get somebody awful!

 

 

Scarlett: Great a water mission

 

*Jackie eats a pringle as Jai bursts into the room*

 

Jai: I smell pringles!!!

 

Jackie: And?

 

Jai: I live off of pringles

 

*Jai hunts them down as Jackie tosses them to Scarlett*

 

Jai: I rob pringles from seven eleven dont ya know?

 

Scarlett: Wow..

 

*Scarlett throws the pringles out the window*

 

*Jai is still sniffing*

 

Jai: Im coming pringles!

 

*Jai jumps out of the window*

 

 

*the teams arrive at the mission in 47 minutes and somebody very talented is there*

 

Man: MIKE JONES!!

 

*the mean team gasps*

 

Zie: OMG It's Mike Jones!

 

Ryan: All hail Mike Jones!

 

Mike: MIKE JONES!

 

Stevie: What the hell?

 

Mike: MIKE JONES!!

 

Stevie: Is this really necessary?

 

Brandon: Shut up. We're in his precense now

 

Mike: MIKE JONES!!!

 

 

*the nice team is disgusted*

 

Mike: MIKE JONES!!!!

 

Kelli: Doesnt he say anything else?

 

 

 

Mike: MIKE JONES!!!!!

 

*this pattern continues for a good 32 hours. In the time coming Celine Dion walks by looking for the Inferno but the mean team is too impressed with Mike Jones to notice*

 

Kelli: *on the phone* Yes, I'll have a large cheese. No I dont want a topping for 25 cents! Dont forget break sticks. Bring it to the Inferno house pool

 

*Mike Jones has said his name 213 times*

 

 

*Stevie clubs Mike Jones and throws him into the pool*

 

*The mean team stares down Stevie*

 

 

*Another man shows up*

 

Man: Is this the Inferno?

 

*the mean team is all depressed*

 

Ryan: It used to be

 

Man: Cheer up, Jimmy Fallon in the hoouuuseeee

 

Zie: You're not funny and you smell

 

Jimmy: Jimmy Fallon dont smell

 

Zie: Just get on with the mission so we can get on with our lives

 

Jimmy: Why are you guys so mad? Jimmy Fallon's here!

 

Jai: You're so pathetic

 

Jimmy: Well then lets get started. Today's mission is called "The treadmill OF DEATH"

 

 

Jimmy: You will each get on a treadmill above the pool and it will go at a nice easy pace...to start with. Then you will be given a multiple choice question and you must press the convienient buttons on your treadmill either A, B, C, or D. Anybody that presses the wrong answer, their treadmill speed will increase. If you fall your eliminated. The last team to have people still going wins. And by the way these treadmills can reach pretty high speeds...so you might wanna hope you're smart

 

*everybody gets on their treadmills and they are going really slow*

 

Mikey: Dude I dont even need hands! I own at treadmills!

 

*Mikey takes his hands off the sides and falls off the treadmill*

 

Jimmy: Mikey you have been eliminated

 

Mikey: But the mission didnt even start

 

Jimmy: You aren't allowed to fall off the treadmills. You lose

 

Mikey: I own you Jimmy Fallon!!

 

*Mikey storms away*

 

Jimmy: Question number 1. Spell he. a) he b) hee c) heee or d) athlete's foot

 

*everybody accept for Jason presses a*

 

 

Jimmy: Everybody except for Jason got the question right. Jason you will now pick up a little bit of speed. Question number 2. What awards show did I host? a) VMA's b) MTV Movie Awards c) The Grammy's or d) Fuckfest 2005

 

*everybody except for Steph presses b*

 

 

*Steph presses d*

 

Jimmy: Steph you will now increase speed. Question #3. Dave is       ?. a) English b) a nurse c) American or d) really annoying

 

*everybody presses d except for dave*

 

 

Jimmy: I'm sorry Dave your speed will now increase

 

Dave: But I got the question right. I'm English and a nur...

 

Jimmy: Nobody cares! Next question. Who has won the most World Championships in KSCWE history? a) Triple H b) Kurt Angle c) Matt Hardy or d) Scar

 

*everybody presses a*

 

Jimmy: Sorry everybody will now increase speed

 

*everybody is pissed*

 

Scott: WHY?!

 

Jimmy: The correct answer is Scar. Morons. Next question. How many STD's does Steph have? a)  0 b) 1 c) 2 or d) 417

 

*everybody except Steph presses d*

 

 

*Steph presses a*

 

Jimmy: Steph your speed will once again increase

 

*Steph is going somewhat fast and she is enjoying it*

 

Steph: Ohh this is nice!

 

Jimmy: Why must you relate everything to sex!

 

Steph: Whats that Jimmy? You wanna have sex

 

*Jimmy increases Steph's speed to 234897724823 mph as she goes flying off*

 

Jimmy: Sorry Steph nut you have been eliminated. Next question. What is the name of Mike Jones's hit single? a) Mike Jones b) Mike Jones c) Mike Jones or d) Still Tippin

 

*everybody on the mean team presses d and everybody on the nice team presses a, b, or c*

 

Jimmy: Everybody on the nice team's speed will now increase

 

Stevie: WHAT? WHY?!

 

Jimmy: The correct answer was d!

 

 

Jimmy: Next question. What person here is unable to read and write? a) Brandon b) Zie c) Jason or d) Mike Jones

 

*Jason votes for Brandon, everybody on the mean team except for Jason votes for Jason, and everybody on the nice team votes for Mike Jones*

 

Jimmy: Everybody on the nice team will once again pick up speed as well as Jason

 

 

*the nice team's tread mills are going extremely fast*

 

Jimmy: Next. Which of the following is a religion? a) Catholic b) Sex c) Niagra Falls or d) Mike Jones

 

*everybody on the nice team presses a, everybody on the mean team presses d*

 

Jimmy: Everybody on the mean team will pick up speed

 

Steph: Come on guys isnt that one so obvious?

 

*everybody stares at Steph*

 

Jimmy: Say cantelope. a) cantelope b) watermelon c) blueberries or d) Mike Jones

 

*everybody on the nice team presses a, Krystal presses a, everybody on the mean team  excpet for Krystal presses d*

 

Jimmy: Everybody on the mean team except Krystal will once again pick up speed

 

*Jason and Zie fall*

 

Zie: Damnit, I could have sworn we had that last one

 

Jason: It was a tough one, dont worry about it

 

Jimmy: Next. a) b b) c c) d or d) Mike Jones

 

Stevie: Whats the question?

 

Jimmy: I'm sorry no repeats

 

*everybody on the nice team thinks its a trick and presses d, everybody on the mean team presses a*

 

Jimmy: Everybody on the nice team will now pick up speed

 

Stevie: Why?! You didnt even ask a question!

 

Jimmy: Next question. If you took 23738 and you divided it by 12.5 and multiplied it by the coefficient in front of 76492.86L. Then you subtracted it by 3 squared, What color was George Washington's white horse? a) white b) purple c) 7652438.72 or d) Mike Jones

 

*everybody on the nice team presses c, everybody on the mean team except for Krystal presses d*

 

Jimmy: Everybody here except for Krystal will now increase speed

 

*Ryan, Jai and brandon fall*