Gary: Up first randomly selected is Krystal
Krystal: Everyday the sun continues to shine, but I feel NO WARMTH
Gary: ...Oh?
Krystal: What's my question
Gary: Suprise! Every question asked will have something to do with everybody's personality. DOESNT THAT SOUND EXCITING??!?!
*Krystal has a zoned out look on her face until all of the sudden she grabs a fly out of nowhere*
Krystal: I like to watch them squirm a little before they die
Gary: Can I ask you the question now?
Krystal: What are questions, nothing but the reason for inevitable stupid answers
Gary: Shut the fuck up, bitch. The question is "What is a witch mostly associated with?
A. Easter--- B: Halloween --- C: Mangina's --- D: Elvin Presely(sp?)
Krystal: The answer is B
Gary: Right! Jai! Which of the following colors is not a type of skittle?
A: Red --- B: Saxophone --- C: Turquoise --- D: Hood Blimp
Jai: SKITTLES? WHERE? Um, D?
Gary: No, the correct answer was C you worthless piece of shit, you're eliminated from this mission and hopefully you go home soon so I dont have to listen to your horrible answers ever again you fucking slut.
Jai: ....
Gary: Alright children, moving on. Stephanie!! Which of the following is the most useful?
A: Parachute --- B: Penis --- C: Nail Clippers --- D: Gobstoppers
Steph: The answer is obviously B, Gary. I'm 100%...Final Answer
Gary: A, this isn't millionaire and B, the answer is A
Steph: Thats a little confusing, could you repeat that?
Gary: YOU'RE WRONG YOU DUMB BITCH
Steph: Geez...you're an ass....I'd still give you head if you want?
Gary: NO, I DONT WANT....well actually, talk to me after the mission
*Steph smiles and sits in the eliminated area*
Gary: BRITTANY! What is the most attractive thing about a man?
A: His intelligence --- B: His pride --- C: His wallet --- D: His Manboobs
Brittany: Which was the option for testicles?
Gary: ...That wasn't an option
Brittany: Well that's my answer!
Gary: That wasn't a choice!
Brittany: Im not gonna change my answer
Gary: FINE, THEN GET OFF MY STAGE. Next question, Kelli...what's 13 - 2?
A: 11 --- B: 11 --- C: 11 --- D: 11
Kelli: STEVIE
Gary: There is no wrong answer, all you have to do is say A, B, C, or D
Kelli: STEVIE
Gary: Are you sure? You could easily move onto the next round...
Kelli: STEVIE
Gary: Sigh. Natalie, youre up. What is the greatest show of all time?
A: Different Strokes --- B: Grey's Anatomy --- C: Different Strokes --- D: The Brady Bunch
Natalie: Actually, I kind of like Greys Anatomy
Gary: DAMN FOO, DIFFRENT STROKES IS THHEEEE GREATEST YOURE OUT. NEXT IS KACI
Kaci: What the hell do you want?
Gary: Easy there bitch. Who was the first president of the United States?
A: George Washington --- B: Millard Filmore --- C: Scott Hill --- D: Spongebob Squarepants
Kaci: C!
Gary: Is there anybody on this show that isn't a completely dipshit? Please step up now
*Nick steps up*
Gary: ...I can't do this
*Gary walks away. Everybody continues to bitch and moan, except Natalie, who sits there and listens to her iPod. Mikey ends up stealing it though, just to say he "owned" it. The next day, Gary returns*
Gary: Ok...I'm back. I took anti-depressants so I should be good to go. Next up is Shay. Shay when getting married, you say?
A: I do --- B: I'd rather not --- C: I suppose I will, it's not like I have anything better to do or D: Let's fuck
*Steph is seen mouthing "The answer is D"*
Shay: Well in my wedding, it was C
Gary: Well your wedding just got you ELIMINATED. Next up, Zoe! Zoe. Fish. What did I just say?
A: Fish --- B: Wish --- C: Staples --- D: The Olive Garden
*Zoe is seen spoon feeding baby peaches to the cardboard cut out of Tara and does not pay attention to the question*
Gary: You're gone! And now for the last female of the group, Dave
*Dave is seen sipping a little hot cup of soup and then cringing when its a little warm. He then yells "Oww!" in a very high pitched voice. He blows on the soup (very femininely) until it is the temperature he desires. He then takes out a Shick Quatro for women and begins to shave his legs. He cuts himself a little accidently and begins to cry. Krystal wipes up the blood and then puts the napkin in her pocket and smiles sadistically. Dave then puts on light pink lipstick and puckers his lips and then makes kissey faces into a mirror and checks out his ass. Gary gets extremely annoyed and automatically eliminates Dave.*
Gary: That was all the girls. Krystal was the only one intelligent enough to make it to the second round. But she's really weird, so I decided to just eliminate her
*Krystal is seen ripping off her armpit hair and taping it to her chin. She then gets on all four's and runs off into the night*
Gary: Now for the men, who are hopefully slightly more intelligent than their breast containing counterparts
*Nobody laughs at Gary's joke, and he sighs again*
Gary: First up is Matt. Which of the following artists wrote a song called Trend?
A: Frickin' A --- B: Frickin' B --- C: Frickin' C --- D: Fuckin' A
Matt: I know the fucking answer is Frickin' A, but I'm gonna fucking say Fuckin' A because I fucking feel like it, you wanna fucking fight?
Gary: No, not really. I'd rather just move on after I ELIMINATE YOU. Next is Scott. What is 3 times 4?
A: 12 --- B: 13 --- C: Posh Spice --- D: 92
Scott: A
Gary: WOW SOMEBODY GOT A QUESTION RIGHT AROUND HERE
Nick: Why does Scott get special treatment?? I'm the greatest superstar in SKCW/KSCWE history...it's not fair!
*Nick stomps his feet, crosses his arms, and pouts*
Gary: Nick I was going to ask you a question but since you acted like a little bitch, I'm just gonna automatically eliminate you
Nick: Who are you calling little, SHRIMP!
*The room goes dark and Gary has a stern look on his face*
Gary: What-you-talkin-bout-Nick
*Gary Coleman proceeds to pounce on top of Nick and punch his lights out. Nick begins to cry and eventually wets himself. Gary Coleman headbutts Nick in the crotch, but there's nothing there, so it has no effect. Gary spears Nick down and then karate chops him. He then proceeds to put Nick into the trash barrell. Everybody in the room is so thrilled that they all begin giving Gary 10 dollar bills.*
Gary: Moving on...Ryan...why did Jackie leave you?
A: You smelled --- B: You were obsessive --- C: She was hanging around Steph too much and she decided to become a prostitute --- D: She said you looked bad in drag
*Ryan looks angrily at Gary and chucks his shoe at him*
Gary: THERE WILL BE NO SHOE CHUCKING. YOURE DISQUALIFIED! NEXT UP IS JOHN. John, how many women have claimed you are horrendous in bed?
A: 0 --- B: 19 --- C: 23 --- D: The number was too high we lost count and this answer will have to suffice
John: It has to be A, nobody here could preform as good as me
*Shay rolls her eyes...Steph bats her eyes*
Gary: No I'm sorry, the answer was D. Actually Steph was the only one who said she's bang you. Well Brittany probably would too, but nobody really gives a fuck about her
*Brittany is seen giving Matt a hickey, as Matt doesnt notice because he is too busy giving himself a tatoo of the word FUCK on his right ass cheek*
Gary: Next is Jason. Jason, spell Hat
A: Hat --- B: Hatt --- C: Haat --- D: Celine Dion
Jason: Shit, a question that requires knowledge...
Jason: I'm gonna go with D
Gary: I'm gonna go with, go the fuck back to first grade dickwad
Jason: I finished 1st grade last week! And we never learned that
Gary: Then maybe your teacher should get a new fucking job because they obviously dont have a clue what they're doing
Jason: Willis was my teacher
*Gary goes silent and eerie organ music starts to play as Gary grows angry*
Gary: We do not mention that name around here anymore
*Flashback to when Gary Coleman and Willis were children*
Willis: Gary, come here
Gary: Whutchu talkin bout Willis?
*Willis jumps on top of Gary and begins to hump him. The entire Partridge family then enters and they all begin to have an orgy. Roseanne comes in and eats the entire Partridge Family. Willis then spanks Gary and begins to visciously rape him until Bill Cosby enters the scene with a shotgun and shoots Roseanne and Willis.*
*We return to modern day as Gary Coleman is seen crying on the floor.*
Gary: I CANT GO ON! KSCWE wins this one because Scott was the only one to get a question right. Now do your nominations, I need to be alone. Could somebody drive me home, I need to be alone!
*A horn honks and it is revealed that Paris is once again driving. Although her eyes are closed and she can barely sit up. She does however have access to the gas pedal. Gary climbs into the car and Paris speeds away but cant see the road and she ends up hitting a tree and the tree falls onto the car. The car wont move so Paris stumbles into the living room*
Paris: Nom...in....ations...please
Scott: We nominate Tim just because it's always fun to watch him go first
Tim: I not want to go! I not ready! I need more time. I no go to Unfortunate Conclusion.
Scott: Actually, you are.
Jai: We didn't even discuss it!
Scott: Oh....well.....now we are
Tim: I nominate Jai! She good looking. I smack that all on the floor.
Matt: Time you fucking jackass, we're supposed to fucking vote as a fucking team, how the fuck are we supposed to meet team Moral
Paris: Well....then....its sett...led.....tim....and....and....jai....thats.......hott
*Paris once again blacks out*
Stevie: What the fuck, I wanted them to get Nick out. Although I wouldnt mind to see Tim leave, Nick is much more annoying
Jai: I cant believe I'm in the first Unfortunate Conclusion...Hopefully I win the "Get out of jail for free". I could really use that once the owner of 711 catches me, though
*As the show closes out, Dave is seen wearing a light pink Bebe shirt, modeling it in his room. Krystal is seen reading the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and deviously laughing everytime the witch appears. Stephanie and Brittany are seen each molesting a member of the camera crew. Nick is seen watching Jai shower. Everybody else locks themself in a different room so they don't have to socialize with anyone. Natalie is seen playing solitaire with a bored look on her face and she is wearing a shirt that says " I'm normal. " The episode closes with Paris Hilton doing a kegstand, and then getting behind the wheel and driving into the night*
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