A jumbo jet is just coming into the airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your captain, we're on our final descent into Omaha. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay here in Omaha."
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.
The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Omaha?"
The skipper replies, "Well, first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the  huge boobs out for dinner... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night."
Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisles trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run down the aisle to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first."