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Joke Board post : Quasimodo's Replacement
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 Message 1 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBear7215  (Original Message)Sent: 3/20/2004 6:19 PM
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skill, he had decided to call it a day.Just then, an armless man approached announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street,a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop", who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned,clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief of this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is the man?" the first monk asked breathlessly.
"I don't know his name,"sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."


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 Message 2 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameTheBonnyThaneOfDuninsaneSent: 3/21/2004 4:35 PM
Bear,
 
That hurt.  I mean actually, physically hurt.  My ribs ache.  My cheeks are chapped from the tears.  I have a bone bruise on my funny bone.  Ouch!
 
However, it does bring to mind the following commercial message, with apologies to GM: 
 
"The good prelate of Notre Dame, in obtaining the services of a Quasi-Modo, erred in not buying Genuine Modo parts.  If your insurance company's adjuster tries to foist off LKQ (like kind and quality) parts, insist on genuine Modo parts from your authorized Modo dealer.  They are worth the extra cost, for unlike Quasi-Modo parts, which are susceptible to the siren call of Esmeralda and goats, only genuine Modo parts carry the Modo Seal of Quality."
 
In a personal aside, I'd also not recommend "Komodo" parts, as they are  reputedly as nasty as my ex-wife, only not quite as scaly.
 
Mikey   

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 Message 3 of 3 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknametulsa74105Sent: 3/26/2004 2:43 PM
I received this this morning and thought it worth passing on!
 
 
You may know they've released John Hinckley from the mental factility
> for unsupervised visits to his parents home on weekends.  For those of
> you who  may be
> too young to remember John Hinckley shot President Ronald Reagan to
> impress the actress Jodie Foster.  This is such a nice letter from the
> President:
>
>
> THE WHITE HOUSE
> WASHINGTON D.C.
>
>
>
> Mr. John Hinckley
> St. Elizabeth's Hospital
> Washington, DC
>
>
> Dear John:
>
> Laura and I hope that you are continuing your excellent progress in
> recovery from your mental problems.  We were pleased to hear that you
> are now able to have unsupervised visits with your parents. The staff at
> the hospital  reports  that you are doing fine.
>
> I have decided to seek a second term in office as your president and I
> would appreciate your support and the support of your fine parents.
>
> I would hope that if there is anything that you need at the hospital,
> you would let us know.
>
> By the way, are you aware that John Kerry is screwing Jody Foster?
>
> Sincerely,
>
> George W. Bush
> President
>