5th Comm Bn

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have a glorious 4th of July and

take a moment of silence still in

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Reply to Sender Recommend Message 18 in Discussion

From: Dick

Jim,

How's that saying go about best laeyd plans of mice and men os some such...known in the Corps as FUBAR. Sad to hear you didn't count on a measley creek flooding ya. I got a dry gulley on my lot and old timers say it floods on heavy snow run off but below me. So, any dirt fill work below me will have my bitch to put in a culvert lest I pull a Jim B..

OK, let me try this, when you're outside pissing beer away in the woods there, will it run into the Misery or Missappi riber?

Dick

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Here at Duninsane we have two creeks flowing through the property, the confluence of which I refer to as the "swamp hole". Our 18.5 acres is comprised of two hills, each descending down to the creeks. The monicker "Duninsane" came from Shakespeare's Macbeth and by coincidence, my Scottish forebears were MacBeths and MacKinnons. In the play, Macbeth meets his end at Dunsinane Castle. "Dun" in the Auld Language (the Gaelic) means "hill" and the rest (with a few adroitly switched letters) pretty much speaks for itself here at Duninsane.

The creeks flow into the Liberty Reservoir, which feeds water to the fetid City of Baltimore. The residents of that benighted burg sometimes complain that their water foams and has an "off" taste.

My habit of pissing recycled Sierra Nevada Pale Ale off the back deck has nothing to do with that, I'm sure.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

Ok, since you got your map out, where does the Lake of the Ozarks drain into...or is it just a sink hole to china.

Drug my dog eared atlas out and looks like it goes into the Osage that hits the Misery east of Jefferson City. Looks like any back up from the Mississippi would take a bunch so you're lookin good. And, any extra H2O in the Missouri aint gonna help you much when she gets hot.

Now I bet Mikeys foamy water goes into Baltimore for a recycle reason, hey, lots of brewerys there so why not take the left over ethanoal right back into the vats?

I fear precious little of that somewhat prodigious amount of alcohol I consume on a regular basis is ever excreted. Most of it goes to my head to destroy what few brain cells I have left.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

Sad to say, my contributions to the ethanol piss has waned lately, due to the interaction of it and my sleep meds. A warning on them says something like, "Alcohol may increase the effects of this med." I took that to be a plus for a cheaper drunk, which it is. But the enhancement part came into the hanogover end and ehnhanced that by 3 days. Why the hell don't they say that to begin with? Must be a sort of chuckel at the warning writers department. I asked my doc about that and he said they act a little bit like that stuff, antabuse, where it blocks the metobolizing of the formaldehyde phase of ethanol digestion in the bod. Got the stinky breath and head ache for way more than God intended. The big question is, why do I do it again anyhow? My last encounter was with to much table wine, mainly the jolting knife like taste of a bottle of Jarhead Red.

See, there's the problem. Booze is my sleep med. I always awake the next morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. (The bright eyes light my way to the coffee pot and I tuck the bushy tail into my skivvies, pulling it to the front to enhance my admittedly puny "package".)

I love Jarhead Red! Maybe you've been drinking Jarhead Red with sugar cookies. Bad combination. The contrast will rip your lips off. It's great with any red meat or pasta with a red sauce where you want a red wine with some "bite". Our Military Order of the Devil Dogs pound sells it as a fundraiser for Marines Helping Marines and I get a couple of bottles at every "growl".

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

What are you kvetching about? Why, we had to pay almost five grand to get the excess of trees in our front yard cut down - and you got it done for free. Some folks just don't know how well off they are.

Hurricanes are just one more reason I have no desire to retire to Flawda. We have so many guys from my PD who have retired down there that they have an annual reunion and it's always well-attended. They can have the tropical heat, bugs, snakes, and lack of seasons. I like it right here at Duninsane and the next time I move, I'm gonna be what's in the box.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

I understood that the brain cells that alcohol destroys are only the ones that deserve to die. I sure have tried to keep the cell population down.

Ah, I'm glad to find a fellow subscriber to the Cliff Claven "Buffalo Theory", which postulates that weak brain cells, not unlike weak bison, succumb to predators and the elements, thus thinning the herd and contributing to the well-being of the species in the Darwinian scheme of things.

However, I'm increasingly finding that my herd of brain cells (not unlike my hair) is becoming rather too thin, indeed.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

Are you refering to the migration theory of hair? As we get older it migrates south from the head. I've convinced my that a hairy back is a sign of verility.

Strange stuff, hair. Yours migrated south, whereas mine apparently underwent some sort of follicular transmorgification and began growing inward. I have as much hair as I've ever had, but it is now all inside my skull. It makes a mighty effort to escape, mainly out of my aural and olfactory appendages and I'm constantly trimming it back so as to maintain a neat appearance.

I keep seeing these commercials about these guys who got their self-confidence back after various hair treatments and I'm wondering just how insufferable I'd be with hair.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

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Reply to Sender Recommend Message 30 in Discussion

From: DuninsaneDude

Ben,

Strange stuff, hair. Yours migrated south, whereas mine apparently underwent some sort of follicular transmorgification and began growing inward. I have as much hair as I've ever had, but it is now all inside my skull. It makes a mighty effort to escape, mainly out of my aural and olfactory appendages and I'm constantly trimming it back so as to maintain a neat appearance.

I keep seeing these commercials about these guys who got their self-confidence back after various hair treatments and I'm wondering just how insufferable I'd be with hair.

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

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Doncha just love those commercials where some knucklehead proclaims that "Hair R Us" changed his entire life because he got his self-confidence back? Any man that insecure needs some couch time with the talking doctor.

A few years back I was talking with a fellow I knew in high school about our upcoming reunion and he said he wasn't going because the Rogaine hadn't worked for him yet. He was an attorney, not bad looking, and certainly made a comfortable living, etc., - yet he was so self-conscious about his lack of hair that he was going to pass up the reunion. How dumb is that?

Mikey, Thane of Duninsane

I agree on the hair/confidance issue. That lawyer bit reminded me of our last use of one for Cory's SSD hearing. He's in his 50's, dapper dressed but his mop looked like a transplant as the roots were laid out like a grid. That prompted me to "Card" him on his SSD claim win loss ratio. It was 56 to 2 so the mop must have been due to the pack he runs with or something. Me, I like the what you see is what you get idea, no BS to get in the way.

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