moonie is right blossom - you are better off where you are. Take heart and pride in the fact that you were eventually deemed unworthy to sit on that high empty mountain top these people guard so vehemently. These kinds of assesments, spill from some of them in a vain effort to manipulate the rest of the world again and again. Stroll in the cool grass of a Garden meadow and be happy in the knowledge that you find yourself draped in a cloth of your own beauty, strive to wear it well and gracefully,own the happiness it brings you.

     Like you and moonie, as well as many others, i too have been analyzed and summed up by this person in a similar ugly fashion, and for no other reason than I did not agree with her. Because I chose to speak up, I have also been on the receiving end of her lies and attempts at the manipulation of others regarding my character. I too have come to see the disdain they have for me as a badge of honor. The 'alphas' are a difficult group of people to stand up against. Though they are few, they can be arrogant, self righeous and ourtright ugly- The conflicts they create are at times a bewildering smoke screen to hide the fact there is no substance to their motive other than whatever personal power they get from manipulating a situation.

     What bothers me in particular about what has been done to you blossom, is the fact that you have been used to feed not just one persons ego but several. You have been passed around so many can take their turn at feeling superior, and sit in judgement over your behavior.

     I can see how after a few years of being successful at manipulation after manipulation, tantrum after tantrum, parlaying of some partial truth into 'THE TRUTH' and plying drama and discontent in order to hide all ones ugly activitties, someone might , sadly, believe they have some true insight into the way things are. After years of surrounding oneself with such a facade of brilliant ego stroking, a person may forget that No, they do not have the right to smack someone in the face with their 'truth', or condemn a person for not accepting it. Some of these people have been playing this game and making themselves feel good in this manner for a long long time. What is disturbing to me however, are those who admittedly are new to all of this and are falling in behind the rest with the same overblown superiority and ugliness. To fall in with someone like the Alpha most alpha and begin spewing the same kind of judgemental, destructive and unqualified rhetoric after just a short time under her tutelage is anything but proof of the alpha species' reported 'special' nature, backbone, integrity, or character.

     The words Mentor/mentee seem, like so many others in alpha land,to take on their own special meaning. Pretending to have some sort of grand plan to make you the person i, in all my arrogance see you are, and then condemming or even punishing you when you dont follow along, is not anything i would ever want to be a part of . I would also hope that people would be responsible for themselves, step outside of this 'pack' mentality and not engage in judging, hurting or turning their back on people simply to follow along . I find it extremely discouragaing that merely being mentored by someone with supposed wisdom is enough to provide a person still learning about themselves, with qualifications to engage in this very damaging behavior. There are some things that are not worth striving to be included in- in my opinion this is one of them.

     I would hope if any of you ever come to me and wish to speak of things in your heart, that i would have the wisdom to listen, to offer my feelings about any similar feelings i had experienced, be there to sit beside you should the choices you make bring you pain and to celebrate with you when they brought you joy. In my mind this is what a friend, sister, brother and yes yes a mentor, in the best sense of the word, is for. No contract or dna test is necessary.

     moonie honey, you are one of a few very special gifts i have recieved as a result of the Alphas' true nature and the 'unique' way they behave. There are some in this community i have come to love very dearly and strangely enough it has been the cruelty and arrogance of these self appointed Alpha subs and Dominants that has brought these wonderful refugees my way ... for that i thank the Alpha nation profusely. These happily 'dismembered' people have become a part or our family and so special to me. Once again their loss has been my gain. Their ignorance has resulted in my life being enriched.

fondly and with much love,

SteeLspet

 ~fury~