Hi blossom

i am not surprised you are confused after the alpha crap and seeing other o/l idiocy... BUT..... not A/all online, or in real life to that matter, are like that.... in all walks of life there are people who will be detrimental to your welbeing - the trick is learning to find a way to cope with the knockbacks and idiots so that you can heal, stand tall and be proud of who and what you are. you do not have to be like others - you have to be true to yourself, your true nature

One of her questions was: How do you know your submissive?

i feel it deep within me..... it satisfies my soul, calms my inner child, brings fulfilment and unites my mind, body and soul.

start your journey as a submissive so that you can learn and build trust - trust isnt something that happens overnight - there isnt a race to be a slave. it is your journey, you take it at your pace, no O/one elses.... you can be guided and given information by O/others but ultimately it is your choice how you proceed and where you end up. It is ok to like any part of teh lifestyle that you desire, need and wish to experience.

i too have slave within me and i have trust issues because of my past - the slave part of me surfaced and almost became who i was, however, it wasnt the right time, He wasnt the right One. i believe when the time is right and i am with who i am meant to be with the slave in me will surface and be the one that i am.

i can't say in all honesty it gets easier but it doesn't get worse either... no one said it would be easy - if you were nilla it wouldn't be any different.

What i do know for sure is that you cannot force the pace, the journey... if the need is there and you communicate with the P/people around you, as well as yourself, honestly and openly then you will be open to finding what you need.

i was given some good advice by a Dominant that i trust whole heartedly.... "Journeys should not be made alone, they should be shared and enjoyed. It does not mean that you can only make them with the "ONE". For there may not be the "ONE" but many who connect and share something special with you. Those special things, experiences, journeys do not become invalid just because there is another. I have known those who have looked all their life for the "ONE" with out realising around them they have known many.

In the old days the term was the "one for now" which often meant that things lasted a lot longer. Keeping the close relationship more special, more open and honest, more depth to it. Yes that extra special innersoul mate may very well exist, but it is with the help of the others that you will find them not your own. "

Enjoy your journey's, remain open and communicate.

best wishes,

moonie