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"The ultimate question comes down to this...is this something you find you need, crave or want? To what degree? How does it make you feel? Or does this simply make you curl inwards and wonder at the perversity of the world?"
Interesting question, I dislike pain and for a long time denied my need of it and yes I said need. I craved it without even realizing what it was I wanted sometimes to a degree that makes me squirm in remembrance. For a long time I avoided participating in this lifestyle because I was afraid of pain and I surely did not understand it. I can't really claim to do so now. I know that the type of pains make a difference. Chronic pain such as the arthritis I have does not turn me on lol and unfortunately tends to inhibit my release in other types of pain but I still have the memories of it and it does fascinate me. I am also learning different techniques to control pain and that automatically raised my antenna over what other uses that information can be put to. Is it wrong to crave something you fear? To want something so much you become willing to endure to get there? I don't think it makes us wrong or sick, different maybe but I have always believed different is good.
teazin