Well, where do i start!? Firstly thank Yyou Aall for the responses, each and everyone of them has given me pause for further thought. Is is reassuring to hear that the weak doe eyed little thing i sometimes think i am, is of my own creation. I'm afraid i do my best thinking when talking, and find i struggle with putting it all down without a sounding board. Please do not mind as i take some quoting liberties to get my thoughts out in some semblance of order.
"I suggest you can become more discerning by paying attention to the authenticity of all those guiding hands eager and willing to “show you the way.�?nbsp; Nothing better attests to the authenticity of a person than consistency between the perspectives they profess and the actions they display."
Ohh yes Sir! I so very much agree here. I've certainly allowed myself to fall into the original pull moment, thinking that this is what i want at the time ( almost said need there..lol) Thankfully i do think i have managed to pull myself from those types of situations, and keep myself in check. That was through lessons learned however. "Mentors" are something i do shy very far away from, having learned that it is merely a matter of time before a little more is expected. But then again, perhaps tis just my own experience.
"While many huff n�?puff endlessly about “walking the walk and talking the talk,�?the crucial question for you to ponder and answer is, “do they actually walk their talk?�?nbsp; The authenticity of their dominance or Mastery will be revealed to you by the consistency or inconsistency of doing so."
Agrees again, the only thing with this is, i simply do not allow One close enough to me to know this. The feelings i have float around, yet my mind is certainly not able to give in to explore anything. I do realise i cannot just hand over of myself on a whim as i once used to, so maybe in the end i am the one holding myself back and causing my own flitting issues. I get the inspired feeling, that devotional feeling, and slow simmer it. Reality check time i call it...lol Why can't i have my cake and eat it too!!...lol
"I think it's normal and sensible for a submissive to gravitate towards Dominant people. With or without D/s a good friend is someone that enhances you, that makes you happy and gives something to your life in exchange for you giving something to theirs. It is no different with making friends with someone able to share their Dominance with you. "
I think you are saying it so well here dev, this is what i find i do when i say i flit. It is not that i am seeking something from Them, but rather enjoy the "rapore" i have going. Yes sometimes it brings about a craving for something more structured, but it isn't fair of me to expect that, and i would never be one to ask either. I just get all ...all don't even know what i get like...lol Sometimes i do share, thoughts and feelings, confusion, those discussions are often the kind that i walk away from and think about for a good long while. LOL i love MacGuiver, now i just need to Mac my way into something that works! I've never given much thought to the substitution, but perhaps i will look at that idea a little more closely now.
"Sometimes it is so easy to brush their happiness off in a kind of 'aww shucks' manner, but the truth is not everyone has the ability or the desire to do extra special things for the ones they care about. Not everyone sees the need for those extra details or those insightful contributions that make a moment just right. - Take happiness from your abilities in that arena and pride in the fact you are wired that way. It is a special thing."
Expanding on the idea that i need to look a little more closely at things, come your words fury. I do gloss over those moments, simply because well that is day to day life, i do not think of what i offer in that sense, i just walk away happy that everyone else is. Now i will have to analyze this a little closer!
"Paying attention to myself and my sensuality/sexuality is something that is also very important- This important part of us is so easy to bury amidst the day to day details of a busy life. "
Ok here, i do have a bury my head in the sand issue. Those thoughts i do settle deep underneath pretty much everything. Sometimes i let them out in writings, poems. It is so odd that for such a time, it was a larger part of my "make-up" keeping it on a slow simmer, ready to be tapped into and shared, offered. I know i ignore ( or try) it now because there is no One to share it with. Of late however, i do find it harder and harder to keep it under cover, perhaps i am slowly liberatting the little "slut" within...lol
"Learn to believe that those qualities are indeed a special thing in this sometimes unhappy, ugly, repressed and selfish world and appreciate Those who genuninely see and embrace you for possessing them. See the struggle to find those things inside of you and fine tune them as a valuable tempering of who and what you are - Enjoying what you bring to the table makes it that much easier to spread it out before someone else to savor.-"
Am certainly going to try to do this. Once i figure out just what qualities i find i hold...lol I think i need to really sit down and pull my thoughts together, like a little personal dissection of sorts. I need to focus on what it really is that pulls me in, and what i expect from that feeling for myself. Not sure if that makes a whole lot of sense, but in my cluttered little mind it does at the moment!..lol
To sum it all up, and again thanking Yyou Aall for the replies, it is nice to know i am not the only one to have felt this way ( yes fury i do take comfort in that!) I am also realising that it is not so much a need as i may have stated ( just a BIG want..lol) and that within myself, i need to find the right recipe wich works best for me. Perhaps one day there will be a "Guiding Hand" but it is important that i realise, i need to figure out how to "guide" myself and know myself before i can ever hope to have a well grounded self, that does not go through this little moment of wondering. Am i a submissive? meh..perhaps, for the moment i will just be glad with who i am. ( and maybe add a little fine tuning hehehe )
Always
~goddess~
xoxox
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
Prev Message
